Ring, ring

Mark is a certified techno geek. He loves anything with a screen, including (but not limited to) the T.V., his DS, and the computer.

But he prizes one gadget above all -- a cell phone. I'm not sure why, but longing and jealousy fill his heart when he sees another kid with a phone.

"Who would you call if you had a phone?" I frequently ask him.

"My friends," he always answers.

"Your friends have phones?" I ask, and he always shakes his head no. I explain that phones are two-way devices -- someone needs to answer when you call.

"Fine," he says. "Then I'll call you."

Which he already does, I point out, without owning a phone. He calls me from his classroom, from the nurse's office, from kid's club, and once, from the school library. That kid may not know how to add fractions yet, but he can work the school phone system like nobody's business.

I assumed I'd buy him a phone in middle school, when most kids seem to get them. But I'm starting to re-think that, based on the calls he's made during the past few days. Part of me is glad he's so willing to talk, and part of me is annoyed at how many calls I get, and what exactly he's deemed call-worthy.

Here's a sample of our phone conversations from yesterday.

At lunch:
Mark: "Mom, guess what my number is?"
Me: "Um, 100?"
Mark: "Nope!"
Me, waiting for a hint: "OK, 300?"
Mark: "Nope!"
Me, wondering what the point of the conversation is: "Um, 400?"
Mark: "Nope!"
The nurse, who is dying a slow death waiting for this conversation to end: "He's 150, and was happy about it. He just wanted to call and tell you!"
Me: "OK, great. Thanks Mark!"

At kid's club:
Mark: "Mom, I'm 227. What do you want me to do?"
Me: "What you always do when you're high. Correct it!"

While I'm at dinner with friends:
Call comes in from home. I don't answer it in time, but return the call.
Me: "Is there a reason you called?"
Mark: "Nope. Bye!"

During dinner:
Mark: "How do you turn on the T.V. with the remote?"
Me: Five minutes of detailed instructions, culminating in, "Hit the T.V. button, then Power."

At 9 p.m.:
Mark: "Hi Mom, I'm eating something."
Me: "Are you eating because you're low, or because you're hungry?"
Mark: "Because I'm hungry."
Me: "It's 9 o'clock. Go to bed!!"
Mark: "OK."

10 minutes later:
Mark: "Hi, Mom."
Me: "Why are you still awake?"
Mark: "There's lots of thunder and lightning out there."
Me: "Close the blinds, and leave the light on. You'll be fine."
Mark: "When are you coming home?"
Me: "Soon. GO TO BED!"

Like I said, I'm glad he's communicating with me, but at some point, there may be a little too much conversation. And I worry that may increase even more if he's got his own phone and can text me.

But there is definitely an upside to all this. I know that as a teenager, he'll never use the excuse, "Sorry, I should've called you." And I know that if he's ever on the show "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," I'll probably be his phone-a-friend person.

So at least I've got that to look forward to. But for now, I'm off to answer my cell phone yet again. I'll give you one guess who's calling...