Look out Farmer John, here comes Farmer Mark

Yesterday, Mark's class went on a field trip to a farm. When I think of a farm, I picture a peaceful countryside, with fields of crops decorating the landscape. I think of fields filled with cattle, pens of pigs, or barns full of goats. What I didn't picture was a big red barn plunked down in a corner of the local fairgrounds.

But that is exactly where this farm is. I dropped Mark off after a doctor's appointment, pulling into a massive parking lot filled with a fast-food restaurant and several school buses.

Mark loved the trip. He learned tons about farm animals and crops, and shared those fascinating tidbits with me last night. Here's a little of what I learned about the farm--before you rush off to post it to Wikipedia, remember the source.

• Chickens grow in an egg for 21 days before hatching.

• A baby chicken pooped on Mark's hand and it was gross.

• A pig chewed on his shoe and it was not gross. It did not hurt.

• The pig chewed on Mark's shoe repeatedly.

• Mark was, in fact, shoving his foot under the fence so said pig could chomp on it. (Sigh.)

• Cows can produce 15 gallons of milk a day while pregnant, and 10 gallons a day after the calf is born. (I thought they'd need more milk to feed the calf, but what do I know?)

• This farm had chickens, goats and a cow that mooed every time the farmer talked.

• It also had a super fat squirrel who lived there and ate all the crops.

• You can plant the top of a pineapple and it will grow into a new plant. (This fact I can confirm from experience; however, that plant will also die after the first frost of the season. Sadly, I can confirm that fact as well.)

Mark spent the whole evening talking about the farm. He really dug the trip and learning how to farm. He brought home his own newly-planted crops--radishes, peas, corn and lettuce. Unfortunately, he planted them all together in a tiny 6 x 6 inch plastic container, so his little farm might be a bit crowded.

Mark was even inspired to do a little genetic food modification. He told me that next October, he is planting a plumpkin.

"What's a plumpkin?" I asked.

"It's part plum, and part pumpkin," he explained. "You take the roots of a plum and the roots of a pumpkin, and you fuse them together. Then you plant it and a plumpkin grows!"

"Sounds cool," I said. I pointed out that we have a plum tree out back, but unfortunately, it does not bear fruit. (It did produce a tiny plum once, which my friend Michelle immediately popped into her mouth.)

Mark told me I needed to get the tree fixed before October, so he could start work on his hybrid plumpkin in time for Halloween. I'm not sure if he's planning to eat or carve the plumpkins, but since he's got virtually no experience fusing roots together, I'm not all that worried.

It was certainly fun to watch my little city boy explain how the farm worked. Even if that farm, just like my boy, is also a city dweller.