Today is World Diabetes Day! I don't usually call attention to it, but I've been bombarded by lots of comments lately that just make me mad.
But being mad is no good, so instead, I'll use those comments as an opportunity to dispel some myths, and teach people instead. Maybe the next time you get the chance to discuss diabetes, you'll think about this and have a little more compassion (and a little less judgment) when talking to people living with diabetes.
(Also, I could get into a big ol' discussion about the differences between Type 1 and Type 2, but really, what does that matter? Living with diabetes is hard no matter what type you have.)
1. My son didn't get diabetes from eating too many candy bars.
His diabetes is an autoimmune disease--he got it from drawing the short stick in the gene pool. When he was two years old, his body actually waged a war against itself, attacking and destroying the beta cells that make the insulin Mark needs to regulate his blood sugar.
That war broke his pancreas--it doesn't work, and there's nothing Mark did or ate that ruined it. He's not an undisciplined sugar addict--he's actually a survivor, a warrior. Hold your head high, Mark--you have a lazy pancreas, but an iron will (and an external pancreas you carry in your pocket)!
Oh, and by the way...statements like "he ate too much candy" just make you sound like a righteous, grumpy old man yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn. Seriously.
2. He can't have sugar.
Sugar is just a carb. Almost everything you eat has carbs, and eventually turns to sugar when you digest it. Even stuff that's good for you--fruit, milk, bread, pasta. (Would you deny a non-diabetic kid an apple or banana?)
Telling Mark not to eat sugar is only looking at diabetes like a short-term problem. It's not about what he should or should not eat right now; it's about the big picture, establishing good eating habits for a lifetime, not just for this meal. Mark eats like we all should eat: healthy, balanced meals, with occasional treats.
What Mark needs is understanding, not a lecture from the food police. As his mom, I appreciate you checking to see if he can eat something--I know that's coming from a good place, from your concern over his health. I appreciate that.
But you wouldn't want everyone telling your mom every single thing you ate; neither does Mark. He knows how to count carbs, how to bolus insulin for his meals. Reminding him to do that is much more helpful than asking him if he's "allowed to eat that."
3. Sometimes he DOES need sugar.
When Mark has been really active, or gets too much insulin, his blood sugar goes low, which is dangerous. It means he needs sugar RIGHT NOW. Usually it's a juice box or glucose tablets, but sometimes it's whatever is close by. That might be soda, or hard candy.
What Mark needs at that moment is...sugar.
And what I need to do is make sure his blood sugar is going back up to range. While I appreciate your concern for Mark's health, what he needs to do is to eat or drink--not to be lectured on why sugar is bad for people with diabetes, or if it's a good idea to give him sugary drinks.
Sugar, is in fact, sometimes the remedy, not the enemy.
4. He's not going to "grow out of it."
His pancreas is broken, period. It's never going to start up again when he grows up, if he eats better or loses weight. The only thing that'll make it go away is a cure, something I pray will happen in Mark's lifetime.
And no, insulin is not a cure. A new insulin-producing pancreas is a cure; but in the meantime, external insulin is kind of like duct tape; it's just a temporary fix.
5. I'm sorry about your grandma/grandpa/aunt/uncle/elderly relative. But please stop scaring my kid.
I'm sorry that someone you know or love has diabetes. And I'm more sorry that they lost a limb, appendage, or their eyesight to it.
But I'm most sorry you're telling these stories to or in front of Mark. Stories of lost body parts do not help or motivate him. He's a little kid--it scares him. And it shames him, because the underlying message of your story is not, "Wow, diabetes sucks," it's really, "You are gonna get your leg cut off if you don't take care of yourself."
Mark doesn't think long-term about diabetes--that's my job. I teach him how to manage his diabetes now so that he can take those good practices forward into adulthood with him. Mark knows about diabetes complications, probably waaaaaaaay better than you ever will, because he experiences them (on a smaller scale) every day. But cut him some slack, he's only 12, and he's just trying to get through middle school--with all his limbs.
Many people do have complications because of diabetes (including losing limbs), but it's not guaranteed to happen. Let Mark and I worry about the long-term stuff.
6. Yeah, he doesn't like needles, either.
I know; you hate needles, and you could never prick your fingers five or six times a day. But maybe you could keep that thought to yourself while Mark's checking his blood sugar. Because guess what? Mark hates needles, too! You should see him freak out every year when I mention the flu shot. He's not using needles or pricking his fingers because he wants to; he does it because he has to. It's not a luxury for him; it's not something he can ignore because he doesn't like needles. No one likes needles.
But Mark takes care of business every day, whether he likes it or not, and I'm pretty damn proud of him. Sometimes he makes mistakes, sometimes I make mistakes, but we're doing the very best we can. And what we really need is support, not judgment.
So that's it. Those are the most common stupid things people say OUT LOUD when they realize Mark has diabetes. I don't want to limit people's questions, I just want them to take the shame and blame out before they ask them.
I don't mind questions. I WANT to teach you about diabetes, especially if it makes Mark safer when he's in your care. So ask away...just use a little respect. Because even though I do kid around about about it sometimes, diabetes isn't just a joke or a punch-line to me.
For more information about diabetes, visit these web sites:
World Diabetes Day
JDRF
American Diabetes Association
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