Mark keeps telling me what he wants for Christmas, so I suggested he put together a list. "Oh!" he said, as though he'd never heard of such a thing. "That's a great idea!"
I was impressed at his list, not only by its length, but also by its detail. Next to each item, he helpfully added the price and where I could buy it.
"A $100 yo-yo at yoyoexpert.com," I read, then stopped. "A hundred-dollar yo-yo--are you serious?"
He nodded. Cute, delusional little guy.
I read the next item. "Grind Machine yo-yo, $35, yoyoguy.com. You want all yo-yos?" I asked.
He nodded again. Delusional and hyperfocused when he wants to be.
I was afraid the list was all yo-yos, but there, at spot number five, was an iPod Touch, listed for $200 at Target.
"Santa makes toys, not electronics," I told him, and he gave me the stink eye.
"Aren't you Santa?" he asked suspiciously, and I thought, Not if he's giving out iPod Touches!
Sensing he was about to lose me, Mark tried a different tact--sucking up. He flipped through a catalog in search of my gift, and suddenly shouted, "Yes!!! And it's free!"
"What's free?" I asked.
"Nothing," he said. "I can't tell you what I'm getting you for Christmas!"
I knew it had to be good if it was in a catalog and free.
What he could do was show me a glossy photo of chocolate-covered strawberries.
"Would you like these for Christmas?" he asked.
"Sure!" I answered. "They look good!"
"Well, you'd have to share them, you know."
I gave him the side-eye and he explained, "Hey, I shared my Christmas presents last year. I let Grant use my toys."
"Well, then Grant has to share with you," I said. "I don't."
"So is this something you want?" he asked again, exasperated.
"I think the better question is, is this something you want?"
"Sure!" he answered immediately, smiling. And suddenly all pretense that I may get a Christmas gift disappeared, as Mark envisioned biting into those strawberries.
And now I can't wait for Christmas morning. I'm sure I will love my gifts--be they strawberries, yo-yos or the new spinning tops that are all the rage with the fifth graders.
Or, I might get super lucky and get the new CD from the Black-Eyed Peas, Mark's favorite band. He swears I love them too, since I oohed and ahhed over the CD he gave me a couple years back for my birthday. The CD he promptly claimed as his own, and I never saw again.
I wonder what I will (momentarily) get for Christmas this year...
