Um, hello Captain Obvious?

Unlike most growing boys his age, Mark does not eat like a horse. Instead, he eats like a fussy, picky, little pony who'd rather just take a nap.

He insists he is eating enough, but I swear he is not. It's an constant battle in our house, and every day I turn a little bit more into a Jewish mother begging her son to eat.

"Eat more!" I plead with him. "You're so skinny!" I've even thrown "Oy!" into those pleas a few times.

Usually Mark wins the battle, because I'm too exhausted to keep fighting at every. single. meal. (I figure he'll eat when he's finally hungry, right? Which is what happens every night, when I say "bedtime"--it's like ringing the dinner bell.) 

But sometimes, he does things so dumb, so obvious, I have to say something.

Exhibit A:

Nothing says "Don't look inside!" like black electrical tape on your lunch bag.

Of course I opened the bag. And I was not surprised to see the contents--one tiny Hawaiian roll and a pouch of flavored water.

"Seriously?" I asked him, holding the open bag toward him. "Bread and water? Are you on the prison diet?"

"What?" he shrugged. "I'm not hungry at lunch."

"I don't care," I said, in my most loving tone (it only sounded grumpy). "Sometimes you need to eat for fuel. You MUST eat lunch, and it must have more than five calories!" 

He sighed, and trudged across the kitchen as slowly and loudly as he possibly could. With another loud, put-upon sigh, he dropped an apple in to the bag, then looked at me expectantly and irritated, all at the same time.

"Happy??" he sighed.

"Protein," I answered.

He sighed again, and with as little effort as possible, spread the thinnest layer of peanut butter he possibly could on to the roll. He held it up for inspection.

"Seriously?" I asked. I realized I could insist on more peanut butter, but there was already a 95% chance he was going to throw the whole damn roll at camp anyway, so I gave up. 

"Put your lunch in your backpack," I told him, and he trudged-slapped his feet into the dining room.

It was my turn to sigh. And to be glad he's not nearly as sly as he thinks he is. I mean, really--electrical tape? He might as well put neon signs spelling out "LOOK AT ME, I HAVE NO FOOD," it would've been just as effective!