Video games are no laughing matter

Mark loves video games. I'm sorry, that doesn't quite convey the intensity of his true feelings--I meant, Mark LOVES LOVES LOVES video games.

The only thing Mark loves more than playing video games by himself is playing video games with someone slightly less good at them than he is. He likes the challenge of competing against someone else, but only if he wins. (Yes, I know...we're working on that.)

But he doesn't like playing against people who never play video games, because it takes him out of the trance he slips into when playing. He has to stop, explain the rules, and endlessly show them how to use the controllers. I know how he gets because I am one of those beginners that irritate the heck out of him--I can barely spell out my name with the controllers, let alone pass a football or hit a baseball.

Today, Mark was playing against his friends. Sean plays at the same level as Mark, but he was home sick. Josh would rather play on his iPhone and tune out the other three boys. Dan is a good gamer, but he's also the younger brother, so he never gets to play--Sean and Mark always hog the game. 

Mark and Dan were deep into a basketball game this morning when I realized Mark had not finished his chores. I reminded him nicely and he totally ignored me, so I stood directly in front and reminded him a little less nicely.

"I'm in the middle of the game!" he screeched, motioning at me to move.

"Give the controller to Josh," I said. "He can play for you while you're gone."

Mark threw the controller to Josh with instructions not to mess up.

"He doesn't even know how to play basketball!" Dan laughed.

Josh just scoffed. "I totally got this," he said. "Watch--touchdown!"

Mark looked at me as if I'd kicked a puppy. 

"Seriously?" he asked.

"It's just a game," I said. "The faster you go, the faster you'll get back to it."

He started to stomp down the hall veeeeeerrrry slowly in protest, until Dan screamed "YEAH!" Mark saw an imminent loss in his future and it sent him running.

Josh must've been losing by a lot, because when Mark returned, he just snorted and walked to the game console. Josh wasn't even paying attention--he was on the couch attacking Dan.

"Settle down," I told them, and they grabbed for the controllers again.

"Hey, this looks like soccer," Dan said, totally confused.

"Because it is soccer," Mark replied. "I changed the game."

Mark sighed. I decided to put him out of his misery.

"Time for school, guys," I said. Mark threw down his controller, turned off the game and was out the front door before I even finished that sentence. It was the fastest I'd ever seen him leave for school.

"Have a good day at school!" I told Josh and Dan as they left. They gave me a thumbs up.

I'm pretty sure I know exactly where Mark will be when I get home today--in his beanbag chair in front of the TV, all by himself. And he'll be the happiest kid alive.

Touchdown!