Pro at life

I never worry that Mark will have low esteem as an adult. This is partially because I try to feed his self esteem by being a loving and encouraging mom, but mostly because he seems to have plenty of it all on his own. 

Yes, the kid is confident. No, he's not afraid to show it.

He proved this once again during dinner last night.

"You finished your homework?" I asked.

"Of course," he answered. "In ten minutes. Because I'm a pro at life."

"You're a...what?"

"Pro at life."

I stared at him. "You know life loves a challenge like that, right? To say you're a pro at life...it's kind of like challenging life to beat you down."

"Nope," he answered. "I've mastered life. I know everything there is--I can do anything in life, and I'm good at it."

"Well, okay, then," I answered. "Empty the dishwasher."

"Already did," he said, then smiled and added, "Pro at life."

"Is the table cleared?" I asked.

"Yep," he said. "Pr--"

"Don't say it," I interrupted. "I know, I know."

"The kitchen is clean!" Mark declared, pointing toward the counters with a flourish. But we apparently have two different ideas of clean, because the counters were still laden with his messes.

I pointed this out, and Mark grumbled.

"You make me do all the work," he groused.

"That's why I got a kid," I said, vocalizing his belief on why people procreate. "So you can do all the chores I don't want to."

"I know, right!" he said, nodding in agreement. 

I looked at him and said, "Do you honestly believe that? That I only got you because I wanted a slave?"

He didn't answer, just raised his eyes as if to say, "Well, DUH."

"You create ten times more work for me, and you do maybe three percent of the work around the house," I said. "You're the worst slave ever."

But Mark wasn't offended. He merely smiled at me, and with a twinkle in his eye, he answered, "Pro at life."

And then I lost it, laughing really loudly. It's true--he really is a pro at life. He's the one kicking back while I do all the other chores--maybe I need to stop working so hard and take a few lessons from him instead.

But as of now...I'm declaring myself to be a semi-pro. Because the official "Pro at Life" title is already taken at our house.