A lesson in selective hearing

Mark's been out of school for a month now and I just found this. It's a report he wrote for health class about his latest obsession, energy drinks. (Seriously, Mark, you're a kid--how much more energy do you need???)

In addition to the report, the kids sampled the various energy drinks. I'm not sure how the health teacher survived that day, with 300 middle schoolers hopped up on mega-doses of caffeine, but I'm glad I wasn't there to witness it.

However...this post is not really about energy drinks or reports. It's about the fact that EVERY DAY I tell Mark to make his bed, eat his breakfast, brush his teeth and wash his hands. And yet, if grilled about his daily chores, Mark would not remember a single one.

It's about all the good advice, the life lessons, the words of wisdom I instill in my son each day, and how he completely ignores them. Instead, he chooses instead to focus on the stupid, random stuff I say when I'm tired or grumpy. Answers like the one I gave--without thinking or censoring myself--when he asked for a Monster energy drink. (That answer was incorporated into his report--see the highlighted area.)

Sigh...OK, fine, yes, I may have told him his heart would explode from all the caffeine. I said it in a funny, joking way, not that it came across that way in the report. I did not say you would die, although I agree with Mark that dying would be bad. (And apparently, I'm not responcable--err, responsible enough to raise a kid!)

Oh well. At least I got a little bit lucky in that Mark failed to cite his references for the report. Maybe his teacher will assume he got that golden nugget about exploding hearts from the Internet, and not from his mom.

Here's hoping...