"I like to control Fernando's dreams," he told me a couple days ago, nodding toward our yawning cat.
"You...what?" I said.
"Control his dreams," Mark repeated. "I wave a cat treat under his nose while he's sleeping so he dreams about food."
I immediately started giggling.
"What does he do when you do that?" I asked. (I realize now maybe the proper reply should've been, "Stop torturing the poor cat!")
"He smacks his lips, then runs his tongue over them," Mark said. "Then I run away quick before he wakes up."
Which explained why the poor cat is always starving, and thinking about food.
Last night's dinner table conversation was equally intriguing, when Mark told me he figured out why his blood sugar was so high when he woke up.
"I was sleepwalking!" he told me. "And eating crackers in my sleep."
"You...what?" I asked again. (Yes, this is my default answer.)
"I guess I walked to the kitchen in my sleep," he said. "I woke up in my bed, chomping down on crackers, and there was an empty wrapper on the floor."
"Sleepwalking, huh?" I said. "That explains the bathroom. Looked like a hurricane hit there this morning!"
We both sat silently, contemplating Mark's extracurricular nocturnal activities.
"Were you hungry?" I asked him. "Did you feel low?"
He'd had two bedtime snacks around 9 and a glass of sugary milk at 11:30 when I tested and his blood sugar was a little low.
"No," he said, thinking it over. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and said, "Unless..."
"Unless what?" I asked.
"Unless Fernando was getting me back," he said. He pointed at our giant cat lolling around on the floor. "Maybe Fernando tried to control my dreams!"
And then we lost it. The image of Fernando waving Ritz crackers under sleeping Mark's nose was just too funny. Our laughter scared Fernando, who jumped up and stared at us curiously. He blinked once, then twice, and then, eventually, fell back onto the floor.
"I'm on to you, 'Nando," Mark said. "We're even now."
And for the sake of Mark's blood sugar, I hope he's right.
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