Party time!

If you heard a loud, joyous noise earlier today, fear not. It was not a thundering stampede or even the wild cries of dogs wailing at the sky while fireworks rain down. Yes, the cries belonged to wild beings, but they were not beasts; rather, they were 15 9-year-old boys (and two girls) set free in a room full of inflatable bounce structures.

That's right, it was Mark's birthday party today, and I have to say, it was pretty darn fun. We went to Pump It Up, a private warehouse full of inflatables. They had a bounce house for the little kids, a bigger one for the bigger kids, an obstacle course, and my favorite, a giant slide.

The boys arrived full of energy and ready to bounce. First they watched a video explaining all the rules, including what to do when the whistle blows (stop), what to wear at all times (socks), and if it was okay to push five kids down the slide at once (no). Of course, each time the video asked these questions, the kids yelled the opposite answers back at the T.V. My 2-year-old nephew Johnny didn't like the rules at all, and jumped up to smack the T.V., to the delight of the 9-year-olds. Johnny fit in really well with the big kids!

Then it was time to let loose. The door opened, and the screaming kids ran into the room, scattering. They climbed the obstacle course, they bounded up, then down, the slide, they raced across the obstacle course until they were sweaty and red in the face. Then they raced across it again, flinging themselves down the slide at the end.

It was sheer madness! There were kids flying past me in every direction. I saw Mark zip past with a couple friends, and then saw him perched at the top of the slide, ready to descend. He let out a whoop, and flew to the bottom. He was quickly followed by three other boys.

Mark had a blast, tumbling down the slide and boxing giant inflatable punching bags. But he was never in one place for long, and people kept asking me where he was. (The answer was always the same -- a vague hand wave in the distance, and the phrase, "He's over there -- I think...")

He had such a good time, he bounced himself a little low. I fed him granola bars before we got there, trying to boost his blood sugar so he wouldn't go low from all the jumping. It almost worked, until at one point, I found him lying alone in the bounce house, not moving much.

"You okay, buddy?" I asked. "You feel low?"

"No," he answered. "I'm just tired."

Which is a low blood sugar symptom. I insisted on checking him -- but he refused to come out, so I finally just tested the finger he shoved out the bounce house entrance. He was 73, and lunch was still half an hour away. So I juiced him up, fed him another granola bar, and sent him on his way. Poor kid, diabetes wouldn't even let him celebrate his birthday without feeling sick.

I followed Mark to the giant slide, just in time to see these three jokesters come down:

They were laughing their heads off, and I couldn't help laughing, too.

"Come on, Heather, you've gotta try it!" Kathleen shouted. So the next thing I know, I was climbing up the slide, and then zipping down at an alarming speed. There was a speed bump at the bottom of it, which I completely rolled right over. When I reached the bottom, I couldn't even get up, I was laughing so hard.

It was hilarious! And fun! I tried it a whole bunch more times; once with baby Carver, once with Kathleen, once with Vic, and a couple times by myself. And as only I could do, I managed to hurt myself -- I scraped my arms along the inseam, and gave myself a road rash down my whole arm! I loved that my grownup friends had just as much fun as Mark's friends. I loved seeing a third-grader fly down the slide, immediately followed by one of my laughing grown friends.

After 90 minutes of jumping, the kids were exhausted and hungry. However, they managed to pose for this very nice group shot before running off to lunch:

As soon as we said go, they were running off to the lunch room, where many pizzas awaited. The kids wolfed it down faster than we could replace it! Jonah told me he ate five pieces, and Kyle walked by with pieces 8 and 9. Mark told me Kyle was trying to break his previous record of seven pieces!

"Don't throw up, Kyle!" I warned. I was thankful the jumping part was over!

They also scarfed down strawberries, grapes and lemonade. I turned around at one point to see five boys in a circle lifting their shirts and rubbing their swollen bellies. "My stomach's soooo FULL!" said one boy, patting it lovingly.

But they weren't too full for cake! Back to the tables they went, to demolish a mint chocolate chip ice cream cake. I still can't believe they had any room left...

When they were all good and sugared up, it was time to leave. I gave Scott a box of goodie bags to hand out, and the kids clamored around him, hands out.

"Me, me!" they shouted. "I want a bag!"

"Let me hear you bark like a dog!" Scott told them, and suddenly, the room was filled with barking. "No, bark like a BIG dog!" Scott said, and the barks got much bigger. He rewarded them each with a bag.

It was an awesome day. Mark had a great time with all his friends, and it was just as much fun watching him run rampant with them. He was in heaven -- things to bounce on, climb on, and slide down. I'd worried that he and his friends were too old for a bunch of bounce houses, but they proved me wrong. They loved every minute of it, even trying to sneak back in after lunch.

He was equally excited about his gifts, which included plenty of Star Wars Legos, a few Nerf guns, and other cool stuff. He also got some gift cards and even a semi-inappropriate birthday card. He was thrilled with it all, and spent the afternoon building Legos and shooting Nerf arrows at us.

I'm sad to see my little guy growing up so fast. But if it means watching him enjoy a day like today, among his friends, eating pizza and ice cream, and running wild, then I guess it's a small price to pay. I loved every minute of it, hanging out with my friends and family, watching my boy have so much fun. I loved watching him jump and play, blow out his candles, rip open his presents. And I loved being able to say, "Yep, it's my son's birthday" for the fourth year in a row.

And the party location is...

...Pump It Up!

I took Mark to Pump It Up, and he surveyed the room. "OK," he said slowly, still a little unsure.

"Oh, there's also a giant slide around the corner," a Pump It Up employee pointed out. "Check it out!"

"OK, I'll have my party here!" Mark exclaimed suddenly, and I turned the corner to see what made him...well, turn the corner.

I was not surprised to see video games. Mark's idea of a great afternoon with his friends is to play video games and totally ignore them. I constantly remind him that Sonic the Hedgehog is not a real friend (not even if he can fly like Superman).

Whatever. I didn't tell Mark the video games are extra, and that I'm supplying him with pizza, cake and jumping, not quarters. I know he'll talk someone into giving him quarters (he always does), but I also know he'll jump around like a madman with his friends when we get there. (He hates to be left out of anything!)

So now my conscience is clear, and my deposit is safe. I don't care if Mark said yes because of video games, I'm just glad he said yes. I know he and his friends will have a great time.

And we'll probably have this very same conversation next year, when he cries because I've scheduled his party at a [bowling alley, ice skating rink, roller skating rink, fill in the blank] when he really wanted it at -- WAAAAAAHHHH!!!! -- PUMP IT UP!

And for my next trick, I'll ruin Christmas

Talk about the road to Hell being paved with good intentions...

Mark's 9th birthday is coming up, and we've been discussing party plans. He wants a skating party like last year, even though I've suggested other new activities such as bowling, ice skating, you name it. Each suggestion was met with, "Maybe...no, I want a skating party."

Until I found a really cool place called Pump It Up. It's a party place filled with inflatables kids can jump on for two hours straight. It sounded perfect for a group of hyperactive 9-year-old boys! And it seemed even more perfect when I told them my party date, and they said they'd just had a rare cancellation.

"Usually, you need to book a party 3 to 4 months in advance," the woman told me. Come on, any place that requires booking that far ahead of time must be a blast.

I showed Mark the Web site, and he seemed all right with it. "OK," he said quickly. "I'll have my party there."

I asked if he was sure about it, and he said yes. "I have to call back today and put down a deposit," I warned. "So be sure!"

"I am!" he promised.

So I made the deposit, and finalized the plans. I was so excited to find a cool party place -- Mark can invite up to 25 kids, and adults are all free. I thought we were good.

Until I got home. Mark was sitting at the table when I casually mentioned that I had booked his birthday party at Pump It Up. He immediately burst into tears -- not exactly the reaction I was expecting.

"I wanted a skating party!" he wailed, and all I could think of was, "What the...?"

"You told me to book the party," I said. "You said you wanted to go here!"

"No, I said I wanted a skating party!" He wouldn't stop crying. He grew more and more upset, until he couldn't even talk, he was crying so hard.

So, great. Instead of Thoughtful Mother Who Planned the Perfect Birthday Party, I'm now the Mean Wicked Mother Who Ruined My 9th Birthday. (Guess I've given him more fuel for his tell-all Mommy Dearest book!)

Or, as I now like to call myself, Mean Wicked Mother Who's About to Lose Her $100 Deposit.

I know my sisters-in-law are much kinder souls, who all put their children's happiness first. I know all three of them would immediately cancel the party, take their kids out for ice cream, and apologize profusely for inflicting such stress upon them.

I, however, am a Dinsdale by birth (not marriage), which unfortunately means sometimes I think more like my brothers than like my sisters-in-law. And in this case, I reacted the same as my brothers would, which is to say, "It'll be fun, you'll like it, SUCK IT UP!"

I've never wanted to say suck it up more than I wanted to last night, but I bit my tongue instead. The dang kid kept crying, and I started thinking, Geez, I'm going to hear about ruining his birthday for the rest of my life!

But I'm still kinda mad about the whole thing. I mean, it's not like I picked a jail or work camp to hold his party -- I wouldn't have it somewhere he'd hate! I honestly thought he'd have a great time there -- he's always the first kid in the jump house whenever we see one, and the last kid out. I didn't purposefully pick a rotten party venue just because I hate roller skating parties (which I don't, for the record).

If he really wants a skating party, I guess I'll give in. However...I'm not giving up that $100 deposit without a fight!

"How about a compromise?" I asked. He finally stopped sobbing long enough to hear me out.

"What if we go to Pump It Up on Saturday and look around? If you absolutely hate it, I'll cancel the party." He wiped away his tears, and nodded.

So we're going on a field trip Saturday morning. And I'm sending out party invitations this weekend -- even though I'm not sure where the party will be!