I'm not ready for this yet

Mark has always been quite the charmer, especially if there's something he wants. He can turn on the charm and work a room like nobody's business.

He was so dang cute when he was little, with mile-long eyelashes and chubby cheeks you couldn't help pinching. People would fight to hand him cookies, candy, stickers, you name it. It was hilarious to watch.

Well, Mark's older now. His face has leaned out, but he still has those killer lashes. He wears glasses now, which make him look more serious, more mature, but when he smiles, you can still see the sweet little boy inside. I think he's still adorable (even with his hacked up hair), but hey, I'm biased.

I'm not surprised he can still turn on the charm--what I'm surprised about is who he's turning it on for. His target audience has changed, and is now skewing toward a much younger crowd.

That's right, I'm talking about girls. The same girls he ignore until last month. And while I know, intellectually, this is all age-appropriate, emotionally, I'm freaking out a bit.

Case in point: I recently sent Mark to diabetes camp. When he returned home, Mark dumped out his bag. His name tag fell out, too, and I noticed it had been altered a bit.

Some girl's phone number! I remembered a girl hugging Mark goodbye when we left, and asked if it was her number.

"Nope," Mark simply said, and left it at that.

And now, his cell phone has been buzzing off the hook with text messages. Ninety percent of the messages are from the same three classmates--all girls.

"You've been getting a lot of text messages lately," I observed, and he just shrugged.

"Mostly from girls, huh?" I prodded. Another shrug; then, nothing.

The ironic thing is, Mark's super nosy and jealous whenever I mention guys, even if I'm just talking about my boyfriend George Clooney, or my husband Harry Connick Jr. He gets all mad, wrinkling up his nose and growling--yes, growling--when I even say their names.

I've been waiting years to get back at him. I tease that when he gets his first girlfriend, I'm going to growl at her and give her the stink eye, just like Mark always does. But now that the girls are actually REAL, and texting, it's not quite as funny. Now I just want to growl in general, not at Mark or the girls, but at life, and how quickly my little guy is growing up.

Sigh...I knew this day would come, and I'm glad he's being a little gentleman about it. But seriously...I. AM. NOT. READY. FOR. THIS. 

 

Whose party???

Mark hit another milestone yesterday. He was invited to, and excited to attend, a birthday party.

For a girl. A girl who is not related to him, and therefore, not obligated to invite him to her birthday.

Ack!!! That's right, my (newly) 11-year-old (my baby!) is now attending co-ed birthday parties. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's me, Overprotective Mom, in the corner, having a series of tiny little heart attacks.

It started out with a simple piece of notebook paper Mark jammed into my hand when I picked him up from school. "Come to my party!" it read.

"A party!" I squealed (I love parties).

And then I kept reading...it was signed Emily.

I cleared my throat. "Who's Emily?" I asked ever-so-casually.

"A girl...a friend," Mark answered.

"A girlfriend?" I replied in the most immature voice possible. I watched a million microexpressions (mostly embarrassment and disgust) flash across Mark's face, and I mentally kicked myself for being such an idiot.

I immediately recovered. "I'm sorry," I told Mark. "I'll behave. So, she's in your class?"

"Yup," Mark sighed, relieved I wasn't going to torture him about girls. "We're going to see the movie 'Rango'! And Brandon's going, too."

So maybe I didn't have to worry after all. He really just wanted to go to the movies, and play with his guy friends, not flirt with girls. At least, that's the story I'm going with...

Mark had a blast at the party. When I arrived to pick him up, the boys were busy throwing baby avocados around the backyard while the girls watched on, giggling. I chatted with Emily's dad for a few minutes. He looked a little shell shocked.

"This was a big birthday," he told me. "First time she's ever invited boys."

"How'd you survive?" I asked.

He chuckled a bit and whispered, "It was so funny--they all got their pizza, and then the boys sat at one table, and all the girls sat at the other table. They didn't want to be too close!"

I giggled. Some things never change.

In the end, all the kids had a blast. They loved the movie, they loved the party, and Mark talked about it all the way home. He seemed very mature about it all.

Wish I could say the same for me and Emily's dad. I'm glad everything went well, but to be honest with you...I'm not ready for Mark to hit the boy/girl stuff yet!

Call me

This was Mark's last week of school, and he commemorated it by exchanging phone numbers with all his friends. He discussed it with me yesterday morning.

"Hey Mom, is it okay if I give some of my friends our phone number?" he asked.

"Of course," I answered. "Just give them the home phone number." I don't need a bunch of 10-year-old boys calling me on my cell phone at work.

"Uh oh," he said, and when I looked up at him, he gave me a cheesy grin.

"You already passed out my cell phone number?" I asked, and he nodded, then gave me another cheesy grin he tried to pass off as charming.

But karma bit him back. He was showing me his school yearbook when I noticed a decidedly girly signature, accompanied by a phone number.

"Did you get a girl's phone number?" I asked, prodding him playfully.

But he grimaced and pushed me away.

"She wanted to write it," he protested. "I told her I didn't want it, but she wrote it anyway!" He turned a bright shade of red, but I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger.

"Wow, you're quite the player," I told him. I looked at it again, and asked, "Did she really sign this 'Prinsess Laya'?"

"Yeah," he scoffed. "And she didn't even know how to spell it right, and she's in fifth grade! She asked a first-grader how to spell it!"

"You got a phone number from an older woman?" I tried not to smile too brightly.

"Whatever," he snorted. He was done, and tried to distract me by saying, "Look what Nathan wrote. He's funny."

"Hey Dainty Dinsdale," Nathan had scribbled, "hope you have a great summer. You twerp!"

"He is funny," I agreed, although I'd probably punch anyone who called me dainty or a twerp. Boys definitely have a different way of conversing with each other than girls do.

But hey, on the bright side, if my cell phone rings and the caller greets me with, "Hey, twerp," I'll know who it is right away.

Girls are gross

Mark was recounting a story about his friend Kyle, who likes a girl at school.

"And she likes him back!" Mark exclaimed, with surprise.

I was curious as to what that meant -- it's been a long time since I was in fourth grade.

"Huh," I answered. "So...what now? Do they eat lunch together?"

"No!" Mark snorted. "Why would he do that?"

I shrugged. "I dunno...do they hold hands?"

This one was met with a growl.

"Sorry!" I told him. "Are they gonna go to the movies together?"

This time, Mark didn't even answer -- he just walked away. "They can't even drive yet!" he called back at me. "How are they gonna go to the movies?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what it means that they like each other!" I called out to him.

"Get a boyfriend yourself, then you'll know!" answered my loving son. Yes, the same jealous boy who growls and gives me the stink eye when I talk about my pretend "boyfriends" (Harry Connick Jr. and George Clooney). His little head would explode if I brought a real boyfriend into the house!

Later, I asked if Mark liked any girls in his class, and he just stomped away again. This scene has repeated itself numerous times, including once when we were goofing around.

I hugged him, and kissed his head, then told him to stop being so dang cute.

"Never!" he said. Then he paused, and asked, "Why wouldn't you want me to be cute, anyway?"

"Because you're so cute, I'm gonna have to chase all the girls away!"

"OK, then yes," he answered. "I'll stop right now. Immediately!"

I just smiled at him. He may not be all at all interested in girls right now, but I know he will be some day. Some day sooner than I'm ready for.

So I'm just going to enjoy my sweet little boy now, while he is still sweet and little, until that terrible day comes. :-)