To say that Mark and I aren't morning people is a bit of an understatement. Well, actually, that's not 100% percent accurate--Mark pops out of bed at 7 a.m. just fine on weekends to play Wii. It's just the other five days a week he has trouble with.Most weekday mornings at our house are a big grumpfest. They go a little like this.Mark's alarm goes off. I can hear it through the monitor in my room.Me, internal thought: Dammit. Maybe he'll turn it off. He does not turn it off. Three minutes later, the clock radio in my room also goes off, and now Ryan Seacrest is annoying me from two different rooms. Reluctantly, I drag myself out of bed."Mark, time to get up."No movement from Mark's bed."MARK, time to get UP."Slight movement, still no acknowledgment. I groan."MARK, TIME TO GET UP NOW!"The groaning comes from Mark this time. "I don't wanna," he grouses. "Me neither," I answer. "But it's time anyway. Get outta bed!"He complies, but the battle is only half battle over. The other half begins--convincing Mark to do the same chores he does every other morning, but still seems to surprise him each day.Mark: "I made my bed yesterday!" Me: "Make it again."Mark: "I picked up my floor last night!"Me: "Pick it up again."Funny, I never hear similar arguments on weekends. I imagine they'd go like this:Mark: "I watched T.V. yesterday!"Me: "So what? Go watch it again."It got to the point that our mornings were so negative, we had a talk about it. Then we talked about it again 300 more times. Mark even began writing himself a daily reminder on the bathroom mirror:Finally, we both agreed to work on the cranky factor so that we could start our days a little nicer. I also moved Mark's bedtime a half-hour earlier, and declared he must eat breakfast immediately upon waking. The results from that were nothing short of miraculous.Now, instead of a grumpy kid, I have the exact opposite: Mr. Sunshine. Every morning, it's "Good morning, Mom! I love you Mom! Gimme a hug Mom! I LOVE YOU!! Wanna play?"I didn't think there was anything worse that having two grouchy people in the morning. Turns out, it's waaaaay worse to have only one, and worst of all, to be that one. The only thing more irritating than a grumpy kid is an overly-happy one bouncing throughout the house before I'm fully awake or ingesting coffee.Mark's still writing his daily "No grumpyness" reminder, but I don't think it's for him anymore. I think there's only one way to fix this new situation: put myself to bed a half-hour earlier, and eat my breakfast upon waking up, too.
Otherwise, I may choke out the new little happy morning person in my house.
We interrupt this usually cheerful, light-hearted blog with an important announcement. Heather is feeling cranky, and that is, unfortunately, reflected in today's entry.My brothers Tim and Smed used to have an ugly green La-Z-Boy chair named Chairy (after the chair in the Pee-Wee Herman show). For some reason, Chairy became a sort of soapbox, a platform for railing against whatever bothered them.Chairy sat in front of the T.V., which always had some sort of news program on. That's probably what started it all; just sitting in Chairy got my brothers all mad. They would watch the news and vent. During commercials, they would rant about the injustices of the world and the ills of society. They would shout about politics, sports, the decline of society. They would decry the loss of humanity and general decency in civilization. And then they would jump out of Chairy and return to their happy, fun-filled selves.I've had a rough week, and I've got a bit of the grumpies today. So instead of the usual light, funny Mark stories, I'm taking a seat in Chairy (metaphorically speaking) and presenting my list of rants. These are the things driving me crazy lately:"Harvest Festivals." Listen, if your party is in October, is filled with ghosts, goblins, or mummies, and requires my son to wear a costume, then call it what it really is--a Halloween party. Don't call it a Harvest Festival unless we're actually bringing in crops (and trips to the pumpkin patch don't count).
Hairless dogs. Or cats. It's just not right. Puppies and kittens are supposed to be furry and cute -- wrinkly bald versions are the exact opposite. They creep me out. (Although I did see a very playful hairless puppy at the pet store today.)Mouthy, sassy little children with bad attitudes and a predisposition for lying. You can guess what inspired this one (yes, it's about four feet tall and rhymes with "shark").Editors. (Jill excepted!) This week has been a living reminder of the quote: "The relationship of the editor to the writer is that of the knife to the throat."Blurred seasons/holidays. A couple weeks ago, the grocery store featured all the summer items on clearance. Right next to them was a display of Halloween candy. And yesterday, I walked out of the 99 degree weather and into Target. Which was filled with down jackets, ski hats and other winter apparel. It all makes my head hurt.Homework. Especially when it's not mine, and I'm not even in school anymore. And especially since I'm not good at math, which accounts for most of the homework. But I check and correct it every night to set a good example. And while I'm ranting, who thought it was a good idea to give 4th graders algebra? Seriously, it even says it on the worksheet -- "Algebra." (I thought Mark was kidding when he said he was doing algebra in class.) At this rate, I won't be able to check Mark's homework come spring!Airlines. I loooove to travel, but seriously, this nickel-and-diming stuff is getting old. Can I just buy a ticket with ONE PRICE that includes the seat, seatbelt, one piece of luggage, a soda and a bag of peanuts? And then put my credit card away until I reach my final destination?Politicians. In the famous words of Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?" No need for actively working against each other, screaming at the President in Congress, or just generally acting like unruly kindergartners. In fact, remember that old essay about "Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten"? All members of Congress need to go back and read that a few times. And then heed it!OK, that's it. I feel a little better now. Still grumpy, but a little less so.
