My son's in Jeopardy!

My brother Smed planned an Iron Man movie day with the boys, and Mark could hardly wait. But that day, he called me at lunch to say he couldn't go because he was in a Jeopardy! tournament.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"I don't know," Mark grumbled. "Means I can't go to the movies with Uncle Brad."

I could tell he was bummed. And I was surprised when he came home after school.

"What about Jeopardy!?" I said.

"It's not till 4:30," he answered.

I decided to tag along. I walked back to school with him, camera in hand, to take photos during the tournament. But I was confused when Mark turned into the school early, heading toward the first grade building, instead of to the middle of the school toward the auditorium.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Room 24," he said. Turns out it wasn't really a tournament, it was just the tryouts for the tournament.

"Wait, you're trying out?" I asked. "Last week you swore wouldn't try out--you changed your mind?"

"I had to," Mark said. "The history teacher made us. I'm playing against Kelly, but she doesn't want to win--she's embarrassed to go onstage."

"It's just you and Kelly?"

"And another girl, but she's not coming," Mark confided. "She already told us."

Then he smiled at me, all self-assured and confident, going into battle with one opponent who refused to show up, and another planning to throw the fight. He liked his odds.

I just sighed.

We found the room, and met the guy running the tournament ("I'll take random jobs for $100, Alex"). Kelly came into the room with a big sigh, plopping into the chair, and nodding almost imperceptibly to Mark. Mark saw her nod, and raised her an eyebrow.
 
The tournament guy waited a few minutes for the last contender. The kids said she wasn't coming, so he called her home. When her mom answered, he explained she was due in class for the Jeopardy! tournament. There was a momentary silence, and then he answered, "Um, sure...okay."

"Mom didn't know where she was," he told us. "She said tell her to call home if I find her."

This afternoon was getting weirder and weirder.

Finally, the game began.

I thought it would be a quick match. Kelly did play like she was throwing the match at first, refusing to answer any questions. Mark held his own, but then Kelly couldn't help herself--she answered a question correctly after Mark missed it. Her confidence rose with the correct answer, and bolstered by her win, she went for the jugular--the math questions. I knew Mark was doomed.

She whizzed through three math questions easily, as Mark and I sat there clueless. Seriously--I did not get one math question right. I had absolutely no idea what the answers were. The first problem was -3(8) + 12=36. The other problems used the same numbers, but moved the parentheses and switched up the positive and negative numbers.

Kelly switched to a new topic, Green, Bean or Spleen, where she guessed the first two correctly (she got verde, green; and legume, bean, but Mark got body part = spleen right).

I watched Mark falter during the World Leaders topic, when the question was about a Chinese Emperor during the Sui Dynasty whose name began with W.

"Wendi," I answered silently. I didn't even know who Wendi was until two days ago, when Mark wrote about him for a history report.

But Mark didn't answer. He just shrugged. Kelly sighed and answered correctly, and I started to wonder who was really throwing the challenge.

Kelly won by $100; Mark lost with a final tally of -$1,600. He seemed a little bummed, but I consoled him, saying, "If you come out of Jeopardy! with any money, you weren't trying hard enough."

Mark just stared at me.

"If you don't bet big, you don't win big," I clarified. He just shrugged again.

"I didn't know any of the math problems!" he cried.

"Don't worry," I said. "I didn't either. Not one!"

I asked about Wendi, and professed my surprise that Mark didn't answer that.

"Who?" he asked.

"Wendi, the Chinese Emperor," I said. 

Mark stared at me, blankly. 

"You know, the guy in your report TWO DAYS AGO??"

"Oh," he scoffed. "You think I remember something from two days ago?"

I sighed. Not really the answer I was hoping for.

"Anyway," I said. "Good job trying. How do you feel?"

"Bummed," he said. I started to say he battled well, but he interrupted with, "I can't believe I missed Iron Man for that."

And then I shut my mouth. Because honestly, I don't blame him. Missing a superhero movie to get crushed in 10 minutes by a girl who didn't even want to win...that's my idea of a rotten afternoon, too.

"Let's get some dinner," I said, patting his back. He had a hard loss, and the least I could do was buy him a drink. "Shirley Temples, on me," I said, and Mark brightened up at that.

So maybe the afternoon wasn't a total loss after all.