Last week, I was on call for jury duty. Most people dread this civic obligation, and give any excuse possible to avoid it. Not me -- I was kind of hoping to be called in.
But now I know what that feeling of dread is like. I've been feeling it since last Friday, when I was summoned to court of another kind -- the parent-teacher conference at Mark's school. Dun dun DUN!!!!
I arrived nervous, with Mark in tow. His behavior has been a bit... sub-par... lately. My mom suggested I bring him along to show him the teacher and I are on the same page. It turned out to be an excellent idea.
I seriously felt like I was in court, with a surly defendant who'd rather be outside playing kickball. The judge asked for opening statements, and I pleaded my case earnestly.
I conceded that my client, while perhaps not the best behaved, certainly possesses a thirst for knowledge, an obsession for reading, and a sweetness of spirit. I then admitted that the judge was not likely to see any of these traits during classroom hours, but rest assured, they are there.
I also noted somewhat apologetically that I'd received the behavior charts for my client over the past few weeks, and these, too, were being addressed. My client, I assured him, is currently under probation for said charts, and will not be released early for good behavior until...well, until there actually is some good behavior!
The judge smiled and began the hearing. I listened intently as the evidence was presented: here, in math, Mark was excelling; here, in grammar and spelling, he had room for improvement. I began to feel hopeful for my client, until the judge submitted the scientific evidence. It was grim, and I could hear my client audibly gulp, and shift nervously in his seat. I was caught unaware; there had been no indication of this in any of the court documents. Turns out the problem was not a plethora of scientific evidence, but rather the lack of evidence.
"Most students do pretty well in science, as long as they read over the handouts I give them," the judge told me.
I glared at my client and asked where his science handouts were.
"In the recycling bin," he answered, refusing to look at me or the judge.
"Your honor, I will make a better effort to review all the documents sent home with my client," I announced. My client then requested a brief recess, which the judge and I immediately refused.
The next part of the hearing focused on some other missing documents; namely, the instructions for a report due in the coming months. I looked questioningly at my client and asked where that paper was.
My client immediately sat up straight, and began patting down his shirt pockets, and then his pants pockets, searching for it. He reached for his backpack and dug through it and the folder it contained quite extensively. But he came up empty-handed, probably because the missing documents had been passed out days ago and were surely sitting in a landfill somewhere next to the science papers.
Eventually, the hearing dwindled down to the last few minutes. The judge accused my client of being unorganized and of inciting the other inmates at inopportune times (i.e., computer lab or music class). My client plead guilty as charged, but begged for mercy from the court. After promising to keep my client under a watchful eye, the judge smiled, and released us with a friendly handshake.
My client knew enough not to argue his case any further. He listened patiently as I admonished him, and agreed to the court-ordered plan of action. Upon walking in the front door, he jumped right to his homework.
"You are on probation until further notice," I announced, and he nodded his head sadly.
I'm hoping the next hearing goes a little better...
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