Yes, that is illegal

Thursday night was Mark's Cub Scout meeting, which focused on the importance of being a good citizen. The boys learned all sorts of citizen-ly stuff, like the difference between rights and duties. ("Rights are something you get, and duties are...um, something you have to do," said one smart Cub Scout.)

Mark was more concerned with bending the brim of his hat up and bugging out his eyes. He stopped every time the den leader mentioned jury duty, and pointed at me because I'm on call to serve this week. Which was fine, until the den leader further elaborated, telling the boys that everyone is entitled to a fair trial by a jury of their peers.

"Yeah, Mom!" Mark sneered, and I shushed him immediately. Embarrassed, I whispered, "I've got jury duty next week," so the other parents would realize I was a potential juror, and not a criminal awaiting my fair trial.

The boys also learned that some rights, while protected, aren't always appropriate.

"Who can name a right?" the den leader asked, and the boys eagerly waved their hands.

He picked one boy, who immediately lowered his hand and said, "Um, I forgot."

So he picked another boy, who correctly identified the freedom of speech.

"What does that mean?" the den leader asked, and the boy answered, "It means you're allowed to say whatever you want."

"Right," answered the den leader. Then he frowned, and asked, "But can you always say whatever you want? Or are some things maybe...illegal to say?"

This made the boys scratch their heads. They couldn't think of anything you'd actually say that might warrant arrest.

Until one boy's hand shot up in the air.

"I know!" he called out. Then he dropped his voice, and quietly said, "The F word."

All the other boys gasped, then nodded. Surely, this was a serious crime.

The den leader, bless his heart, nodded too, and managed to keep a straight face. "Yes, that is very bad," he agreed. "It's not appropriate, but it's also not illegal."

The other boys raised their hands, and each took his turn at giving roughly the same answer. Apparently, for Cub Scouts it's illegal to say the F word, a cuss word, a bad word or even a naughty word.

The den leader eventually pointed out the correct answer -- that we aren't allowed to threaten the rights of other people, as in saying we're going to harm or kill them. This actually shocked the boys, who asked, "Why would you tell someone you're gonna kill them??"

We also learned other important civic information, such as the days you should fly your flag outside. I thought that might include the Fourth of July, Veteran's Day, and maybe President's day. Instead, I was shocked to learn that acceptable days also include Mother's and Father's Day. (Not sure how you commemorate those days if your parent is from another country.)

Even though he spent most of the lesson goofing around, Mark was listening when the den leader described watering your lawn. He explained that because of the drought, we can only water our lawns on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. I don't know why that one struck a chord with Mark, but he chastised me profusely Sunday morning when I watered the back lawn.

"What day is this?" he asked me, accusingly.

"Hey, I only water the backyard once a week," I said. "If I don't do it now, I'll forget!"

He glared at me, until I explained that technically, I can do it any day, because I'm not using my other two allotted days. I'm actually saving the city water by only watering once a week. He didn't buy it, so I turned the sprinklers off.

And so we all came away from the lesson better citizens. I also came away agreeing with the boys on their points -- that bad words would be illegal (especially from the mouths of Cub Scouts) and that flags should be flown every day (just to make sure we didn't miss any important days).

I struggled a little with the watering one, but I'll survive. Because of course, if I forget, I'll still be protected by my right to a fair trial.

Let's just hope that jury of peers doesn't include any Cub Scouts.