Cash incentive

Molding and shaping a kid takes a great deal of work, and even more patience. Because I spend most of my day working full-time, commuting between work or Mark's extracurricular activities, feeding a child who's a bottomless pit, and late-night blood-sugar testing, patience is the one thing I am most often lacking.

As a result, some important things in our household (such as homework) take a hit. Mark's attitude toward homework is much more casual than my own. His attitude plus my limited patience results in more arguments than I'd like to admit.

I turned to my wise friend Kelley for help. She came back with some stellar advice.

"Pay him," she said. "You keep telling him that school is his job, so pay him for it."

"Pay him?" I asked.

"Yes. Instead of allowance, pay him for his homework. If he does his job, he gets paid. If he doesn't, he pays you," she explained. "Make homework his responsibility, not yours."

It was so simple, it was genius. Mark is all about instant gratification -- the whole allowance-once-a-week model doesn't work for him, anyway. Mark's used to being poor all week, then blowing his entire allowance in a single purchase. But what Kelley was proposing -- money every day -- would work. I raced to the bank and brought home a fat wad of $1 bills to pay him with.

It's been about three weeks now, and it's totally working! There have been a few blips, where Mark actually paid me when he didn't finish his homework on time. But mostly, he's earned his daily dollar. Now, when I pick him up from kid's club, he greets me with, "I finished my homework!"

Yesterday he showed me his homework, and went over each page he'd completed.

"Good job, buddy!" I said. I hugged him, then praised him lavishly, telling him how proud I was, and how I'd known he could do it.

He just smiled and waited for me to finish. When I did, he held out his palm, smiled, and said, "There's a better way to thank me." He wiggled his fingers expectantly and waited for the dollar I owed him.

I immediately burst into laughter. Apparently, the Kelley Incentive Plan is working.

Maybe a little too well.