Tuesday, December 6, 2011

We Wish You a Trashy Christmas

I spent all of five minutes untangling the string of Christmas lights for my house this weekend. As soon as I'd unraveled them and set out the ladder, Mark attacked me, begging to put them up.

I figured why not? I'd give the kid some responsibility and save myself some work. That, my friends, is what we call a win-win situation.

Unless...your kid is as klutzy as you are. Within two minutes of handing over the task, he tripped on the ladder no less than four times. I'm all for independence, but a busted head is gonna slow down my day. So I sent Mark back to the garage with orders to get this.




It wasn't foolproof, and if he tipped the ladder, he'd probably smash the helmet, but for a moment, I felt like a better parent.

Mark did a great job. He hung two strings of lights in about 10 minutes. After the second string, he jumped off so I could find and attach the extension cord to them. When I turned around, he was climbing the top rung, and surfing on the ladder. The ladder wobbled on the uneven patch of weeds I call my lawn, and Mark let out a whoop of excitement.

"Mark!" I yelled. He immediately stopped, but the ladder swayed precariously for another minute.

"What?" he asked innocently, as though he weren't mere seconds away from death. 

"What?" he repeated, but much quieter this time, more to himself, as he climbed down the ladder.

I admired the lights now covering three-quarters of our roof line.

"Hand me the last box," I said to Mark. He glanced around, shrugged and said, "There is no third box."

I looked high and low for those lights, but Mark was right. They were nowhere to be found. And after trips to three different stores all selling energy-saving LED lights, I found we were in a pickle. No one sells my old-school energy-sucking Christmas lights anymore.

Mark quickly removed himself from the equation.

"I am NOT taking those light down," he told me. I tried convincing him it was way more fun to take them down than to string them up, and that it was more ladder time. He scoffed at me and went inside.

And so my house sits, 3/4 of the roof with lights. 




My cousin Kathleen scolded me, because she knows how I think, and realized I was thinking of just keeping the existing light up.

"That's trashy!" she said haughtily.

"I KNOW," I answered back defensively, like I wasn't planning to do just that. And then, a moment later, I tested the waters. "Um...just how trashy do you think it would be?"

One icy glare told me it would be trashy enough. Looks like I'll be hitting up a fourth store for some new lights tomorrow.

No comments: