Mommy Camp 2013

Mark went off to sleep away camp this week, and I enjoyed it every minute of it.

Day 1: The kid is gone. The sass is gone.

"You look so much calmer already," my sister-in-law observes. It's true, I feel like my blood pressure's dropped 50 points.

Day 2: I wake to an eerily quiet house, the silence finally broken by maniacal laughter. It takes me a full three minutes to realize it's coming from me.

"Time to get up!" I say, then I do. Nobody pulls the covers over their head or ignores me. I say what has to be done, and it. is. DONE. I could get used to this.

I shower, make breakfast and am sitting at my computer, working, 20 minutes later, without a single argument (I completely forgot that's how mornings can be).

With the kid around, this process takes a good hour and a half. I wonder what the heck he does with all that time each day.

Day 3: This morning, I walk into Mark's room, and in a stern voice, say "Make your bed." Nobody snarls back that "It DOESN'T MATTER." I look at the bed, which is already made, and walk away. If anyone saw the weirdly contented smile on my face, they might wonder about my sanity.

Day 4: I do miss Mark, but the cats miss him more. Each day, they pounce on him, smacking him around, nagging for food. I sleep with my door closed, so now they've taken up residence just outside, waiting for me to emerge. When I do, they scramble down the hall furiously, tripping me or steering me into the kitchen toward their dishes.

Fernando misses Mark the most. I act as a substitute play mate, but he's almost angry when I play--he just bites my arm and runs away. Fernando is not happy that I'm here and Mark's not.

Day 5: I'm tired, but it's a different kind of tired. Usually, by Thursday morning, I'm emotionally worn out, having spent the week debating with the little lawyer (everything's a case to be argued). But today, I'm physically worn out. I've been out every night this week, trying to pack a year's worth of social activities into one week. I've seen two movies, one concert in the park, had three dinners with friends.

Since Mark's not around, there are no nightly blood sugar checks, and I should be in bed early. But I'm not--instead, I'm like a teenager away at college for the first time, staying up as late as I want, just because I can. Unfortunately, I'm not really a college kid, I'm actually a grownup with a real job that starts early in the morning, and I now have the bags under my eyes to prove it.

And I still have two more nights to go! I contemplate, briefly, staying home tonight but dismiss the idea immediately. It's book club night, and for once, that doesn't require a trip to the ATM to pay a babysitter. I can do this--weekends were made for sleep!

Day 6: Still scouring the camp Facebook page, but no photos of Mark. I know he's having a great time up there, and I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

I had a sort of epiphany today. I told everyone that I'm on a mommy vacation, which isn't really true. Vacation means you go away and stop worrying about all the stuff in your everyday life.

I realized today I'm not on vacation, I'm just on Pause. You know, like when you're watching TV, but you need a snack, or a bathroom break--you don't turn the TV off, you just press Pause.

That's what happened to me. None of my maternal duties or instincts went away while Mark was gone--I still worried that he was warm enough at night, eating enough, brushing his teeth. I worried if his blood sugars were in range, or if he had any super highs or lows. I never stopped worrying, I just took a little break.

Don't get me wrong, I've really enjoyed the break. Tomorrow I resume my mommy chores like cooking, cleaning and driving that kid around. I'm not looking forward to any of that. But I am looking forward to the actual kid. I miss that little rascal--I miss his laugh, his smile, his sassy (and funny) little self.

I've certainly enjoyed Pause--but I'm equally excited to hit Play once again.

Heather and Michelle master the art of relaxation

My mom and I had such a blast in San Francisco--we literally exhausted ourselves so much that when our flight home was delayed, we didn't even care. We were just glad to sit still and rest for the extra few hours!

But I didn't rest long. Mom went home on Wednesday, and I headed east for a little wine adventure with my friend Michelle. We arrived in Temecula that afternoon ready to get in to the grape.

Our first stop was the Ponte winery. The wines were okay, but the air conditioning was better. It was a scorching 108 degrees outside! Which is hot enough, but considering I'd just come back from 60 degree weather in San Fran, it was pretty. damn. hot.

We were staying at the South Coast Winery, which I love because they have villas right on the vineyard. But the villas are set back a bit from the main winery restaurants and tasting room, so we decided to enjoy happy hour before checking out our room.

That was a good move. Not only do I like happy hour, I also like cute men, and firemen. Which worked out well, because our young waiter was starting fire school in a couple weeks, so he was kind of like a fireman-to-be. We really enjoyed our wine, our appetizers, and our cute, smiling waiter.

We checked in to our villa, which was right next to the pool. I was indeed a happy girl. We were in that pool in about 10 seconds, sipping a complimentary bottle of wine, and smiling at our good fortune. Physically, we were only 85 miles from home, but it felt like a million.

That last bottle did us in. We realized around 9:30 that WE NEEDED PIZZA, and we were not to be dissuaded. Even though we were in the middle of nowhere, and could not figure out the phone system or even our address, we knew that we needed pizza. And we finally got it, too, although I fell asleep before it finally arrived. (Michelle once again saves the day by waiting up for the pizza--just like our good old college days!)

We slept in late the next morning, and after a breakfast of cold pizza, we hit repeat: pool, wine tasting, pool, dinner. The wine tasting took place at the end of a winery tour. 

The tour was really nice--I've been on a lot of tours before, so I always worry the info will be the same. But this tour guide taught us lots of new stuff, and did a very nice wine and food pairing. It was nice and relaxing.

What Michelle and I learned on this trip is that we aren't, in fact, still reckless party animal college kids who can go big every night. Which might have bothered me before (my fleeting youth!), but now, as a more mature adult (stop laughing), I really appreciated the nice dinner and the guitar player in the restaurant. And of course, after dinner, it was back to the pool. (Did I  mention it was hot out there??) It was a lovely way to spend a vacation day.

We slept in late again the next morning, then feasted on the house specialty--bananas Foster pancakes. Oh my God, they were good! We dined al fresco on our attached patio, with some fat alligator lizards nearby for company. We had just enough time for a quick dip into the pool before check-out at noon. We arrived at the office at exactly 11:59 a.m., to return our keys.

It was an awesome, relaxing way to end Mommy Camp. San Francisco with my mom, Sasha and family was a blast, and Temecula with Michelle was equally fun. I think it was one of the best Mommy Camps so far--so thank you to everyone who participated with me! :-)

Mommy camp in San Francisco, Day 2

Sasha returned Sunday morning bearing good news--she was taking us to the Golden Gate Bridge! It was overcast in the city, and you could only see half the bridge, but Sasha turned that into a positive.

"This is the true San Francisco experience!" she told us. "This is how it really looks most of the time." I smiled at her optimism, and embraced it, screaming with joy as we drove over the foggy bridge.

We parked in the massively crowded viewing lot and got out--there was no way I was gonna drive this far and NOT walk on the bridge! It was cold and windy, so my mom improvised, wrapping her head in a scarf. Sasha and I cracked up, teasing that she looked like a Russian woman with her babushka.

We walked about a quarter of the bridge, giggling the whole time. I was super excited to hug one of the supporting cables. In a moment that seemed just out a movie, I posed, smiled for my close up, and then tripped on the sidewalk. For a brief moment, I thought I would fall, but I caught myself just in time. Of course, my mom was watching the whole thing--I saw her expressions go from laughing, to scared, to "You are an idiot!" all in a microsecond. 

But then it was time for our next adventure--lunch with the family! Tim, Kim, and their kids live about an hour away, and came to visit us. They even brought along Kim's mom, Susan, who was in town visiting them.

I was so excited about the bridge, and seeing the family, and just vacation in general, that I popped out of the car a little too excitedly--sending my smartphone into the gutter for a bath. I stood there, disbelieving, but Sasha was on it--she dove down and grabbed it, immediately removing the battery. She saved the day! (And my smartphone!)

We met them for lunch at their favorite restaurant, Tarantino's. I was a little worried when we walked into the restaurant, which was very quiet--we are not a quiet bunch, and I realized we were about to ruin everyone else's peaceful meal. Luckily, the server  seemed to sense that, and guided us to a separate empty room.

The room was great, though.

It had a perfect view of the wharf, where we watched the Bush Man scare unwitting tourists. The Bush Man is this random guy who sits on the sidewalk behind a bunch of branches he's picked. If you're not paying attention, he just looks like a bush--but then he jumps out and scares the crud out of you. We could've watched that all day, if he hadn't earned enough money and gone off to lunch!

Hannah and Nick also kept me entertained with photos of the previous day, when they unintentionally went hiking at a park filled with little kids.

"There were toddlers EVERYWHERE!" Hannah exclaimed. She wasn't sure why until they heard a train approaching--which turned out to be a life-sized Thomas the Tank Engine! I was laughing so hard at that, and the pictures they took at the nearby Sasquatch museum.

After lunch, we headed to Nick and Hannah's favorite SF hangout--an arcade. But this wasn't just any arcade--it was an old-time arcade, filled with creepy games of times long ago.

There was a creepy giant doll you could make laugh for a quarter, but she freaked us out. We moved on to a fortune telling machine, and laughed at everybody's fortunes but mine. I got some creepy fortune, so I put in another quarter to cleanse my spiritual palette. It still wasn't a happy fortune, but it was less dark and ominous as the first.

The kids crowded around a more modern game--hockey. It was Tim and Hannah against my mom and Nick, and it got so heated, it actually drew a crowd. They were loud!

Sasha and I cruised around the arcade, becoming more and more troubled by the "games." They looked like dioramas, with figures that came to life when you put in a coin. There were some funny ones with old Western towns or rodeos in them, but there were also creepy ones reenacting the Spanish Inquisition, the English taking out Native Americans, and this one, the creepiest one of all:

That's right, an opium den! We had to see what happened. The addicts didn't really smoke opium, but they looked a hot mess. We put in a quarter and the machine came to life--skeletons and the Grim Reaper appeared, and Death was lurking behind all the addicts. There was a guy in bed who started convulsing--I'm telling you, it was all CREEPY! I try not to repeat myself, but the whole arcade was creepy like that! (One "game" had a sign warning "If you are easily offended, do not play this machine." Another sign said, "Warning! By today's standards, this does not sound like music.")

There were actually a couple games that were funny--we all tried a strong-grip game. Tim was the strongest, getting up to Gentleman. Nick got Nullity, Hannah got Sucking, and I got between Madly in Love and Boy. (Guess I'm madly in love with a boy! Lucky fellow!)

we strolled along the wharf, stopping only when Nick and Hannah found a place they liked--a candy shop! Sasha and I pushed them inside, saying we'd buy them whatever they want.

But they proved to be the exact opposite of what you think when you hear the phrase "like a kid in a candy shop." They were quiet, reserved, walking through the displays, just staring at the candy.

"What's wrong with them?" Sasha asked. "Why aren't they picking out any candy?"

"I'm overwhelmed!" Nick confessed.

I was as confused as Sasha was--seriously, who has to beg a kid to buy candy?? Finally, Sasha took matters into her own hands. She grabbed and opened a bag, shoving it into Nick's hands. 

"Go!" she told him, opening the closest bin of candy. "Fill it up!"

Hannah also overcame her initial reluctance, and was off like a shot. They filled their bags with peanut butter cups and every kind of sour candy you can imagine, and they. were. in. HEAVEN.

We continued on with our stroll. Well, most of us did, except Hannah, who was not strolling at all. She walked quickly, hellbent on some unknown destination. I just followed along, unnerved at how much faster I have to walk now that she towers above me. (Dang kid is all legs!) Nick and I joked and acted silly, but Hannah walked purposefully.

We reached our destination--Ghiradelli Square! Hannah pushed right on through the crowd, straight up to the register, and ordered a mocha ice cream cone. Suddenly, she turned around, as though seeing us for the first time; as if remembering she was actually with her family. Talk about hyperfocus--that kid's got it!

Nick and I ordered ice cream, too. The line was long, but the kids didn't mind--they were seriously tucking into their candy bags.

"You have to put that away when your ice cream's ready," I told Nick. "You can't be eating candy AND ice cream at the same time!"

He just looked at me, truly shocked, and said, "What? Why???"

I didn't have to enforce the rule, though. Tim came by and scooped up their bags.

Alas, he was too late. By the time Nick got his ice cream, the candy sugar had kicked in, and he was smack dab in the middle of a full-fledged sugar rush. I don't even think he finished his cone--he was bouncing around so much, we sent him to run laps. He ran a giant circle around us about 10 times, while Hannah, Sasha and I cheered him on, cracking up.

After leaving Ghiradelli Square, we ambled down the street again. A gallery was showing off some Dr. Seuss artwork, and Sasha took the kids inside.

"Do you think it's a good idea for Nick to be jumping all around priceless art right now?" Tim asked, and we all agreed probably not.

When they came out again, I passed out the San Francisco postcards.

"Write a message to your cousin!" I said, so they did.

Hannah was trying really hard to concentrate on hers, but Nick was too distracting. He was still bouncing around. He wrote that he'd just eaten candy and an ice cream cone. I debated sending it to Mark--it didn't seem appropriate to send to a kid at diabetes camp, after all.

Before we knew it, we were in front of the Buena Vista again, in front of Sasha's car.

"Well, okay then, goodbye," Mom said to the rest of the family.

Now I felt like Nick--"Wait, what?? Are we done then?" She caught us all off guard--it was only 4 p.m.!

But she was done. So we hugged everyone and bid them farewell. Apparently, Mom was done for the day and needed a nap.

Sasha said she'd return after my mom's nap, but I wasn't tired, so I said "Let's keep playing!" We pulled up to the hotel to drop off my mom, but when we told her we were going to Twin Peaks to view the city, she waved and told us, "Let's go!"

"I thought you were tired," I said.

"I am," she said. "But it won't take long." She just didn't want to miss out!

And so, we kept going. Sasha navigated us through the city, pointing out Haight-Ashbury and the beautiful houses. She showed us the Opera House, and a community garden that had previously been a freeway off ramp. It was great.

She zipped through the narrow, windy streets. In one quiet residential neighborhood, my mom said, "Hey, there was a bride in that car!" It seemed kind of random.

When we arrived at Twin Peaks, we were blown away, both figuratively, and literally. The view was amazing--you could see the entire city, from the Oakland Bridge all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge. It was sunny, clear as a bell, and the city below was magnificent. 

It was also windy. So windy, in fact, that we saw a group of kids laughing and pointing. Turns out they were pointing at a bird who was trying, unsuccessfully, to fly in the high winds. He was flapping wildly, but going nowhere. It was really funny!

And then, out of nowhere, the bride appeared! We saw her bridesmaids first, at the top of a close-by ridge. You could only see their matching dresses around their legs--the rest of them were covered in coats and boots. They'd climbed to the top of the ridge.

The bride and groom were being photographed about halfway up. Her hair was flying all over the place, and when she attempted a "king of the world" move, her veil went flying!
 But she had a good groom--he immediately chased it down, recovering it. (A little dog also chased after it--poor guy flipped himself over, he was running down the hill so fast!)

 

They also had good groomsmen--two of them carried a bench up the hill for the photo session. The happy couple sat down, and someone held her veil above them--it flew right out, flat as a sheet above them! We really enjoyed the whole show, watching for about half an hour.

Sasha darted through the city, driving us back. When we were a block or two away, we hit an unexpected traffic jam--a cop was guiding the cars, and the street was just teeming with people. I looked around quickly to see what was up. The street sign said it  all--Lombard Street, the famous crooked street!

"Turn right, Sash!" I yelled, and without hesitation, she did! She almost clipped the police officer, and she totally cut in front of another car, but she did it. She was driving down Lombard's eight gnarly hairpin curves, and I was laughing like a crazy little kid.

You can't really get a good photo of the street as you're going down it, so Sasha pulled over.

"You want a picture?" she asked. I hesitated--signs all around said no stopping.

"I do," I admitted, so Sasha pulled over directly in front of a no stopping sign. I bounded out of the car, took my photos, and quickly returned.

We stopped for a quick dinner, then Sasha delivered us back to our hotel. Within minutes of arriving, text messages from Hannah and Nick were blowing up my phone.

"They want to know if you have their candy," I said, puzzled, to my mom. When I turned to get her answer, she was holding up the bags and looking guilty.

"I do," she said, "But I have no idea how I got them."

We figured out that Tim had given them to her to stop himself from eating it. This bit if sleuth work did not impress the kids, however--they were super bummed and immediately started working in a plan to get them back. My mom and I went the other direction, plotting how to further torture them about this.

All giggling aside, we were exhausted. It was only our second day there, but we'd ticked off all the sights on our list, and we still had another day in town! It's tiring to be an overachiever...

Mommy Camp goes on the road (Day 1)

Mark spent the past week and a half at sleep-away camp. I refer to this time of year as "Mommy Camp," because honestly, I'm out there whooping it up and trying to be as irresponsible and carefree as possible (OK, maybe not that wild, but I did go to happy hour every night and see four movies while he was gone!). As Homer Simpson said, "That was fun--and I mean, before-we-had-kids fun!"

This year, my mom and I planned a long weekend in San Francisco during Mommy Camp. She had an exhaustive list of sights to see and restaurants to visit, and we hit all but one of them in the first two days. Not only did we wear ourselves out, we also wore out everyone who came to visit us--our family friend Sasha, my brother Tim, his wife Kim, and their kids Hannah and Nicholas (what up, Hannah and Nick-ay! :-).

We left early on Saturday morning, arriving in San Fran for breakfast. Sasha picked us up, shuttling us from the airport to our hotel, and then around the entire city. We walked around Fisherman's Wharf, marveling at the giant crabs at a fish market trying to escape their open tanks. 

We walked along Hyde Street Pier, pointing huge telescopes at Alcatraz, which was clear and easy to see, and the Golden Gate Bridge, which was not. (I also used my telescope to stare at my mom's face up close. It's amazing what you can see for just a quarter!)

We stood along the edge of the pier, watching swimmers go by. There were a whole lotta swimmers out there, which was crazy, because that water was super cold! (Even the air was cold--60 degrees!--and we were shivering on the dock, fully clothed and wearing jackets!) A curious seal was swimming along one swimmer, occasionally popping his head out of the water.

Sasha had to leave around noon, so we said goodbye, and consoled ourselves with Irish coffees at the historic Buena Vista.

It was cool to watch the bartender make them--he lined up a whole mess of glasses, then drenched them in steaming hot water. He then went down the line, dropping two sugar cubes in each glass, filling them first in coffee, then with whiskey. At the end, he topped each with pure cream, which melted into the coffee. 

 

I usually hate whiskey, but man, those were good!

Warmed up by the whiskey, we started our next adventure--the cable cars, which were just outside the door. We waited in line with all the other tourists, a great many of whom were European. It was fun to hear French, German, and other languages spoken all around us.

The cable cars seem like a cool idea, except that they pack you in so tightly, you can't even see out the windows. So we rode up and down the steep hills of San Francisco staring at some French guy's backpack. Oh well, we still had a good time!

The cable car dropped us at the end of the line, in Union Square. That's when I realized what a busy, bustling town SF really is--I mean, it was Saturday, and the streets were jam-packed. I can't even imagine how busy they are during the work week!

Mom and I meandered up a few blocks, toward China Town. Along the way, we passed a Scottish store, with a big cut-out in front. I coaxed my mom into it, where she stood and gave me her sweetest smile.

"No, Mom!"  I told her. "You're Braveheart. Look mean!" So she did.

(And if you ever wondered why I am the way I am, look at the following pics of my mom. They address that pretty well!)

I wanted to get a pic of my mom in front of the China Town gate, but she had other ideas. She kept acting silly, taking pictures of me, taking pictures of her. This was as good as I got.

We walked the pseudo-Chinese streets, curbing the urge to buy $2.99 t-shirts (good quality!) or other cheesy souvenirs. (OK, I admit it--I couldn't pass up the 7-for-a-dollar post cards--Mark got a whole bunch of postcards from SF!) 

I was astounded by the herb shops, which had a huge supply of weird, dried stuff and giant jars of powders, all labelled in Chinese. I loved the red lanterns lining the streets, and the occasional dragon crossing with the band.

 

But the craziest shop we saw was the fish seller. There were gigantic tanks of live fish in the window, and smaller tanks all around. The store was as crowded with people as it was with live fish tanks, and as I stepped inside, I was assaulted by a strong odor. It emanated from a big box on the ground, which I saw was filled with live frogs. Tons of them, crawling all over each other. I quickly stepped out.

Sasha, an avid animal lover, looked at me in horror when I relayed that story.

"For pets," I said quickly, amending the story to protect her sensitive nature. "I'm sure they were selling the frogs as pets." Sasha remained unconvinced.

We'd walked halfway back to our hotel, then somehow found the returning cable car. We got on the wrong line, which we didn't know at the time, but proved serendipitous, as it dropped us off a block from our hotel.

Our day had started at 5 a.m., but we still had a little left in us. After a quick nap and a wine reception in the hotel lobby, we rallied and walked to dinner at Scoma's. The seafood was fresh, and amazing, and definitely worth the wait!

We were exhausted by the time we left dinner, but I refused to go home until dark.

"Come on, Mom!" I told her. "We have to wait for sunset! We're on VACATION!"

She didn't want to, but that's the great thing about my mom--she can rally with the best of them. And like me (and Mark!), she doesn't want to miss a thing. So she did it--finished dinner, strolled slowly, and humored me, arriving at the hotel just after dark.

We were exhausted, but dang, we saw half the city that day!

Thank you for being a friend

That's right, cue the Golden Girls theme music, because I have the greatest friends around. (For which I am thankful and grateful every day...)

Anyone who's been to my house knows that I write my all-important daily To Do list on my bathroom mirror with a dry erase pen. The reason is simple -- it's the one place I look every morning, and the only place I won't miss a reminder.

It's definitely helpful, if not a bit...in-your-face. Pretty much kills the tranquility and decor of the bathroom when you read "Call doctor about Mark's prescriptions" or "Cub Scout meeting tonight" as you wash your hands. I pride myself on my home decorating skills, but this particular mirror is the downfall of the bathroom.

But not last week. Mark was away at camp, and I was away at work. My friend Edra stopped by to do some laundry, and she left me a message on the mirror before she left. It cracked her up, but I think it made me smile even more.

She'd left me a To Do list for the week Mark was away. Here's what it said:

Usually this is filled with chores, but not this time.

• Have fun with friends
• Relax
• Sleep in
• Read without interruption
• Watch a movie
• Take a long shower
• Eat junk for dinner
• Write
• Do the happy dance
• Live good

I am happy to report that not only did I accomplish all my tasks, I finished them all on the first day! And then, because it was such fun, I repeated most of them on each and every remaining day!

It was great to have a list of fun tasks to complete. But it's even better to have a friend who is kind and thoughtful enough to assign them to me.