(Read Part 1 first)
It's been five weeks since the science project announcement. My tongue now bears a permanent scar where I've bitten it on a daily basis, while swallowing my words.
Last Saturday, I reminded Mark he had two weekends left to finish (and by "finish," I meant "START"). I asked if he had any concrete project ideas yet.
"Yes!" he said. He handed me a note from his teacher.
"Desalinization," it read. "Research and create a simple procedure."
"Awesome!" I said.
And then Mark went outside to play.
Sunday night, he opened the laptop to start his research. Unfortunately, the battery was dead.
"Great!" he shouted. "Now I can't do my project!"
I reminded him in my gentlest tone he'd had this assignment for five weeks now. He couldn't blame his incomplete project on the laptop being down one out of those 35 days. Mark walked away in a huff.
On Monday, he called to get the computer password.
"Oh, good," I said. "You came up with a hypothesis?"
"No," Mark said, snidely. "I have to RESEARCH it first!" He implied, rather than actually stated, the DUH at the end of that sentence.
"Oh," I answered. "I'll be home in 10 minutes. Write down your hypothesis and procedure, and you can research it when I get there."
When I got home, he showed me his work:
It's been five weeks since the science project announcement. My tongue now bears a permanent scar where I've bitten it on a daily basis, while swallowing my words.
Last Saturday, I reminded Mark he had two weekends left to finish (and by "finish," I meant "START"). I asked if he had any concrete project ideas yet.
"Yes!" he said. He handed me a note from his teacher.
"Desalinization," it read. "Research and create a simple procedure."
"Awesome!" I said.
And then Mark went outside to play.
Sunday night, he opened the laptop to start his research. Unfortunately, the battery was dead.
"Great!" he shouted. "Now I can't do my project!"
I reminded him in my gentlest tone he'd had this assignment for five weeks now. He couldn't blame his incomplete project on the laptop being down one out of those 35 days. Mark walked away in a huff.
On Monday, he called to get the computer password.
"Oh, good," I said. "You came up with a hypothesis?"
"No," Mark said, snidely. "I have to RESEARCH it first!" He implied, rather than actually stated, the DUH at the end of that sentence.
"Oh," I answered. "I'll be home in 10 minutes. Write down your hypothesis and procedure, and you can research it when I get there."
When I got home, he showed me his work:
This was my favorite:
(I've always thought there's too much salt in the ocean, too, though it doesn't seem to bother the fish.)
"That's a lot of ideas," I said. "You couldn't find a bigger piece of paper to put them on?"
You'll never guess how this interaction ended--OK, you're right, Mark snorted and stomped out of the room.
He calmed down and returned a few minutes later. He explained to my nephew Johnny and I that he'd thought of a new, way better project idea.
"I'm going to see how long it takes to kill a plant," he said. "I'm not going to water it for a week, and I think it'll die by then."
"You don't have a week!" I yelled. "It's due next Friday!"
(Besides, I didn't have the heart to tell him houseplants will last waaaaay longer than seven days without water--all he had to do was look around the room at my neglected plants, and he'd see how resilient they really are.)
Johnny was very quiet until we got in the car.
"Is Marky really gonna kill a plant?" he asked me, worriedly.
"I don't know," I answered. "Ask him."
"Marky, why are you gonna kill a plant?" Johnny asked.
"For science," Mark said, dismissively.
Johnny thinks Mark is a god--he was quite upset to find Mark's really just a serial plant killer instead. Johnny repeated the question 15 more times, until finally, worn down, Mark promised not to kill any plants.
Which put us back at square one: Mark still didn't have a science project idea.
Well, at least one of us wasn't worried about it.
Unfortunately, it was the wrong one of us.
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