Mr. Generous

Last night I was tired, and tired of cooking, so we went out to dinner. We chose a local place I like for the turkey burgers and Mark likes for the big bowl of free lollipops on the counter.

While I parked the car, I reminded him of the lollipop rule -- one per customer. Breaking the rule comes with dire consequences -- immediate dismissal of any and all lollipops. Mark has learned this lesson the hard way, on multiple occasions.

I ordered while Mark rummaged through the bowl. He also broke Rule #2 -- the Rainman rule. (A leftover habit from his earlier food deprivation days -- he sniffs all the candy bars at the grocery store.) I reminded him no one wants a pre-sniffed lolly, so Mark pocketed his final selection.

Mark's pockets also produced some little ninja figures to occupy us until our food arrived. We played for about 10 minutes, until hunger got the best of me.

"I'm hooooongray!" I told Mark.

"You should have a snack," he advised, but I shook my head.

"I don't want to spoil my dinner," I told him. "If I eat a snack, I won't eat dinner."

We played a little more, until my stomach rumbled loudly. Mark pushed the yellow lollipop toward me and said, "HAVE A SNACK!"

Which I thought was very generous -- he doesn't usually share sweets so willingly. I thanked him but said I didn't want to take his candy from him.

"It's okay," he shrugged. "I've got another one."

He suddenly realized what he'd said, and turned bright red -- he'd broken Rule #1 and ADMITTED IT!

"I mean, I'll go get another one," he clarified. "Just for you!"

And then flashed me the biggest, cheesiest, cutest smile he could muster. If he couldn't outwit me, he'd try to outcharm me.

I was about to collect the rogue lollipop when they called our number. As often happens, Mark was saved by something shiny distracting me.

Luckily for me, Mark has a genetic defect that renders him unable to stash his belongings in their proper places. When he went to bed, he simply tossed the purple lollipop on his bookshelf, right next to his blood glucose meter.

Which made it very easy for me to collect and toss out. Of course, I waited until after I'd tested his blood sugar first. Because with my luck, he'd be low, and in need of some emergency sugar -- something like, oh let's just say a purple lollipop.