Problem solving

Mark's only in fifth grade, but he's already fretting about high school.

"Did you know that if you're in the band in high school, they call you a band geek?" he asked. I could see he was having second thoughts about joining the drum line.

I nodded my head, and answered, "Yeah, you know who else was a band geek? Jon Bon Jovi! Paul McCartney! Lady Gaga! Every millionaire rock star out there was probably a band geek."

He looked at me, unconvinced.

"What, you think rock stars don't play instruments until they're famous?" I asked. "Of course not, they learn when they're kids. And how do they get good at it?"

"Practice," Mark sighed. Practice is his least favorite part about playing drums.

"That's right," I said. "And where do they practice?"

"In band," Mark answered. Correct again!

Then I realized maybe I was missing the point here. I was indignant about my kid being called a band geek, when he was actually still years away from joining the band.

This isn't about drums, I thought. It's about being teased. So I tried a different tact. It was self-esteem building time--a little boost now would go a long way in high school.

"How would you feel if someone called you a band geek?" I asked, channeling my own internal Dr. Phil.

"I'd smack 'em with my drum sticks," Mark answered.

I'd hoped for a more...verbal...answer. I suggested some possible comebacks.

"Tell them you're a rock star in the making," I said. "Say, 'I might not look like it now, but someday, I'll be a famous rock star.' Tell them every famous musician started somewhere, and this is where you're starting."

I was prepared to keep going, to keep feeding him politically-correct answers, but he looked at me doubtfully and rolled his eyes.

"What?" I asked. "You don't like my answers?"

"I like mine better," Mark said. "I'm just gonna smack them with my drum sticks. That'll stop 'em, trust me."

He had me there. One good hit would shut me up.

I sighed. "So you're saying even though I'm giving you all these peaceful answers, even though I'm building up your self-esteem, you'd still resort to violence instead?"

"Yup," he said. Now he was smiling. "Bet they won't expect that from a band geek!"

And then I smiled with him. Turns out, he has plenty of self-confidence already.