Mommy lessons

I like to read a lot, and some of my favorite things to read are mommy blogs. They have a calming effect on me, as I realize I'm not alone in raising a savage beast smartly disguised as a very cute little boy.

I was reading one of my favorites when Mark came into the room. He was so quiet, I didn't even hear him at first. I just felt a presence, turned slightly, and there he was, reading over my shoulder.

"Ack!" I shrieked, startled. "You scared me! What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, but he wasn't looking at me, he was scanning the web page in front of me.

I closed it out of habit. There was nothing objectionable onscreen, it was just irritating to have someone reading over my shoulder.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Getting new tips?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

He nodded at the screen. "Is that where you learn everything?" he asked. "That's where you get your instructions?"

I suddenly realized what he was asking, and burst into laughter.

I'd been looking at a blog called The Meanest Mom (http://themeanestmom.blogspot.com). Mark thought it was an INSTRUCTIONAL WEB SITE, and that I was doing research on how to be the meanest mom!

"It's not a teaching site," I told him. "I read it because it's funny, not instructional."

He just stared, and I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Really!" I exclaimed.

He still stared, then finally walked away.

"I didn't learn all this from a web site!" I called to him as he left the room. He was shaking his head in disbelief.

But it's true--I learned my mothering skills firsthand from The Master, waaaaaay before there even was an Internet. I learned from the original Meanest Mom, who took great pride, not offense, in the name--my own Mother. She's the one who raised us with the motto, "I'm your Mom, not your friend," and I'll always be grateful to her for that.

Even if Mark thinks I'm cheating, and getting the answers from a web site...