Who knew I'd spend so much time obsessing over an inanimate object that is not even mine?? (Honestly...this is what my life's been revolving around--now I know why some of my friend's refuse to get cell phones!)
Mark's had his cell phone back for a week now, which is commendable. But what I've realized this week is that I spent too much time telling him not to lose it, and not enough time teaching him how to use it.
I know this because my own cell phone has been ringing non-stop. So far, I've gotten calls from my mom, my brother Smed, and my sister-in-law Mari. They called to say Mark's phone is repeatedly calling them.
"Tell him to hang up," I told my brother, Smed, who called this morning.
"I did," he said, in the same tone I use with Mark when I'm irritated. "He's not listening--I can only stand in the street yelling at the phone for so long before people think I'm crazy."
That made me giggle. Bonus points to Mark for making his uncle look goofy on the job.
So I called Mark myself. At first the phone went straight to voicemail--guess he was still (not) talking to Uncle Smed. I called back a couple minutes later, and someone answered--but forgot to talk. I listened to the playground chatter for a couple minutes, all the while shouting, "Mark. Mark! MARK!!!" progressively louder into my phone (I feel your pain, Smed). Mark finally hung up on me, so I called back.
"Hello???" he answered, in a very surprised voice. Apparently, he's only used to making, not receiving, calls.
"Mark, turn your phone off," I said. "Keep it off during class, and don't turn it back on again until after school!"
"HELLO??" he said, again. Seriously. He couldn't figure out who was calling him. I could just imagine him staring, baffled, at his phone, wondering who had his number, and why they were calling.
"TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!" I yelled. "You keep calling Grandma and Uncle Smed, and it's bugging them."
"What?!" he exclaimed. "I didn't call anyone!"
I just sighed, and realized it's a good thing God made Mark cute.
I finally hung up. I assume Mark turned off his phone, since no one else reported any more phantom phone calls.
I did learn, however, that Mark is right on par with his peers and their phones (I'm talking to you, Sean!). On his way to school, Sean asked if I'd text his mom, because he forgot his phone at home. I told Liz to call Mark if she needs Sean, but who knows how successful that will really be. We decided there's some kind of cosmic force at work that allows only one boy to have his phone on him at any given moment. Inevitably, the other boy's phone will be at home, lost, off or busy calling someone else.
So, my apologies in advance if Mark calls you. I've only put a lucky few of you into Mark's contact list, and he's been hard at work using up all your minutes.
On a related note...if this is a timely topic, and you've been wondering if your own child is old enough to have a cell phone, let me save you some time and energy. The answer is no. They are not old enough. Not now, not soon, not until they have moved out of your house and gone off to college. Where, presumably, they will use said phone only to call you and ask for money.
But on the upside, you probably won't get those calls very often. Because, you know...they can't find their phone.
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