Sometimes our conversations go like this...

Mark, after running up and down the hallway: "My heart is going FAST! It's really bleating!"

Me, breaking into song, singing Leona Lewis' hit: "I keep bleeding, keep on bleeding in love..."

Mark: "No, not bleeding. BLEATING--like a sheep." He thumps his chest. "Baa, baa!"

Me: No response. A mix of shock and pride that he knows the difference between "bleeding" and "bleating," followed by confusion as to why a sheep's heart bleats.

***************************

Or sometimes, like this, when we have impromptu etiquette lessons at a restaurant.

Me: "Would you like a roll?"

Mark: "Yes, please."

Me, so proud of the "Yes, please," until I realize he is quite literally tearing into the roll, gnashing it in his teeth and shaking his head: "You are not a great white shark, please eat correctly."

Mark: "This is correctly--for a great white." And then gulps the remainder as if it were a harbor seal.

********************

Or sometimes, even like this...

Me: "I'm buying extra snacks for afterschool care. Will you eat sugar-free Jell-O if I buy it?"

Mark: "I want Go-Gurts."

Me: "I didn't ask you about Go-Gurts. I asked about Jell-O. It's carb free. You don't have to bolus [give insulin] for it--you can eat all you want."

Mark: "OK. But I want the red and orange ones!"

Me: "I'm only going to buy it if you'll really eat it."

Mark: "I will! I promise!" (Yeah, you know where this is going...)

And then, while picking Mark up from afterschool care, I see a note attached to the sign out sheet. In big, bold letters, it says, "Mark says he HATES Jell-O and won't eat it." Not only is "HATES" in all caps, it's also underlined three times. Which means no matter what he said at the store, he's NEVER going to eat it. I'm out four bucks and a promise from Mark.

I think I'm gonna try that tomorrow. When my boss asks if I've met my deadline, I'm going to write her a note that reads, "Heather HATES deadlines." Then I'm going to underline it three times. And maybe even make a snotty face sticking my tongue out at the end of it--something like this: :-p

I'm sure she'll understand.