Where I learned my mothering skills...

My parents are in town to babysit the 4 school-age grandkids, who have Veteran's Day off. When I thanked my mom for this, she said, "Don't worry, I'm writing it in the big book."

Meaning, she keeps track of all the things she does for us (which is a LOT, trust me!).

"I know you are," I told her. "Don't worry, I'll put you in a nice home when the time comes -- or at least, get you the good drugs so you think it's a nice home."

This is a long-running joke between us. (She also teases me about my "real" mother--a gypsy who left me on the doorstep.) I've promised my dad he's going to an old folk's home I saw in Virginia--it has a real caboose out front. He's very happy about that.

Then, as we were laughing, the Today show reported that a 56-year-old woman gave birth to her own granddaughters. She carried the babies (triplets!) for her daughter, who couldn't have a baby.

"Now that's a good grandma," I said.

"What!" my mom exclaimed. She looked at me and said, "Sorry, you're on your own." She doesn't mind babysitting, but she draws the line at baby growing.

"Come on, mom," I teased her. "What if I want a baby?"

"I'll buy you one!" she said. "I'll give you a check."

We started cracking up, and I told her it better be a big check--big enough for three babies. Mark, who's never quite sure about our humor, turned and gave us a long look. The he shook his head and turned back to the T.V.

The check was a nice offer, Mom, but I bet my real mother (the gypsy) would have carried the triplets. ;-)