Compare and contrast

Current weather reports:
Southern California: 82 degrees, feels like 82

Washington D.C.: 16 degrees, feels like 0

Heather: 98.6 degrees, feels like she might freeze to death in D.C.

I've spent a lot of time online the past few weeks, researching our trip. I've purchased advanced tickets for museums, monuments, Metrorail, the Tourmobile, even ordered groceries online (note to self: next time, don't order them right before lunch, when you're hungry. Second note to self -- cancel the donuts).

I've also spent a lot of time obsessing over the weather -- just like I did when I actually lived in D.C.! It really is a homecoming.

Yesterday, I read my two favorite articles. They were unintentionally hilarious, and should've been categorized under the topic "If you need to read this, you are too stupid to attend -- PLEASE stay home and watch it on T.V."

The articles were from http://inauguration.dc.gov. The first one, entitled "HHS Advises Inauguration Attendees to Prepare to Avoid Cold-Weather Related Health Problems," contained this little gem:

The average temperature in Washington in January is 35 degrees Fahrenheit. Visitors from warm climates may be more sensitive to the cold and should factor in any sensitivity in deciding how to dress for outdoor inaugural events. Dinsdale family, this means YOU.

OK, I added the last sentence, but I definitely felt like they were talking to me. I love how they tell us wimpy little warm-climate visitors what a world of hurt we're in for. Hey you thin-blooded Californians, when you cry from the cold, your tears will freeze on your face!

The second article had an equally snappy title: "National Park Service Emphasizes Common Sense Thinking and Practical Advice for Ways to Best Experience Inaugural Events while enjoying Inaugural Interpretive and Educational Offerings."

So many comments for that title! First, sounds like it was written by the same guy who gave an equally lengthy title to the Borat movie. Secondly, didn't they ever hear that quote about how common sense is not so common?? Lastly (and most importantly), what the hell are "Inaugural Interpretive Offerings"? (Will there be interpretive dances? Interpretive paintings? I'm confused here...)

But the title wasn't even the best part of the article. The best part was a single line, buried in the text:

Wear waterproof footwear; leave the open-toed high heels and flip-flops at home!

Really? It's gonna be 35 degrees, and I shouldn't wear flip-flops? Good to know -- I will unpack them immediately.

Oh man...I was worried about the size of the crowds before. Now I'm worried about the intelligence of the crowd, who apparently aren't smart enough to wear close-toed shoes in 35 degree weather!

Stay tuned -- I will post all pictures I take of people sporting flip-flops.