Diabetes is a tricky disease. It demands that you follow a rigid routine of blood sugar checks, eating on time and insulin delivery. Any deviation from the routine (i.e., dinner's late, or mom falls asleep on the couch and misses the 10:30 p.m. blood sugar check) results in...well, not-so-good results.
But here's the rub...even after you train yourself to follow the routine closely and become really organized, you must then train yourself to throw it all out the window and become very flexible. As in...I followed the dinner routine (checked and corrected Mark's blood sugar, counted his dinner carbs and bolused the insulin), and now it's time for Mark's pre-bedtime shower. Only...right before he gets in the shower, Mark says the three words I dread most.
"I feel low."
Annnnnnd...STOP! Here's where our routines -- after-dinner and diabetes -- break down. Now a new routine -- the low blood sugar routine -- begins. Mark washes his hands, checks his blood sugar and reports the number. ("69 -- told you I was low!") Then he picks his sugar of choice, eats, waits to feel better, possibly re-tests, feels like crud for the better part of an hour, then moves on. The low blood sugar ritual adds a 30 minute delay to whatever we were doing beforehand.
Even though low blood sugars usually aren't funny, last night's low was unintentionally hilarious. As I mentioned, it occurred before Mark's shower. So he was walking around naked, about to get into the tub, when he felt low. Lows before showers are especially bad, since the hot water causes insulin to be absorbed faster, possibly making him drop even lower.
Mark chose a box of jelly beans to correct the low. Jelly beans are a rare treat, and he was in no hurry to finish them. So there he was at 8 o'clock, casually walking around the house naked, eating jelly beans, just having a good ol' time. He was eating them one by one, savoring them, completely oblivious to the ticking clock, his approaching bedtime, or the general concept of modesty. He had a handful of jelly beans, and life was good. (Even the low blood sugar was a small price to pay for a handful of jelly beans.)
As for me, I was just glad no one rang the doorbell at that exact moment, because it was a pretty funny predicament to explain. My mom did call, however, and when she asked what Mark was up to, I hesitated for a moment.
"Well," I finally said, "He's standing around naked, eating jelly beans."
Even Mark could hear her laughter over the phone. He looked at me, like "Why is Grandma laughing?" and I just looked back at his naked little body (and his jelly bean-stained hands) and shrugged.
"She says it's time for you to get in the shower!" I lied.
Man, you could read all the mothering books in the world, and I doubt you'd ever find this scenario in them!
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