Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Just peachy

Or, "The Only 5 Adjectives You Really Need to Know."

Mark brought home his homework last night, which is always a test in patience (mine -- and I don't always pass that test!). When he works at home, his brain goes completely blank, and it turns into a guessing game. ("What's 5 x 2?" I'll ask, and he'll answer, "8? 12? 16?")

Last night, we tackled adjectives. Mark needed three adjectives to describe himself, his best friend, a recent trip, his teacher and his Halloween costume.

He'd filled out the adjectives for himself -- "cool," "peach," and "funny." ("Peach" refers to his skin color -- last year he told me his friends were brown and black, and that he is peach.)

But after working a couple minutes, it was obvious he needed some help. I explained to him what adjectives are ("they describe a noun -- this blue coat, this gold box, this small car, this silly boy") and he nodded his head, as though he understood me. I was pretty proud of my teaching skills.

"OK," I said. "Now tell me three words to describe your best friend, Josh."

This completely stumped him. "Um...." He scratched his head, and picked up a little car from the table. "I brought these cars to dinner so that --"

"No! No cars!" I told him. "Focus on the adjectives. When you think about Josh, what one word do you think about?"

"Oh!" Mark exclaimed. "The playground! And one touch! We like to play one touch during recess."

Did you notice the adjective in that sentence? No, neither did I.

"OK," I said. "Let's try again. I will say a sentence, and you will complete it with ONE WORD. ABOUT JOSH. Got it?" Mark nodded.

"OK. Josh is..."

I looked at him expectantly. He shrugged.

I was starting to lose it a little. I tried again. "OK, why do you like to play with Josh? Because he's what?" I was fishing for "nice," "funny," "playful," something.

"He likes one touch," Mark told me.

"OK, let's try something else. What does Josh look like?"

"He's peach," Mark said.

"You already used that one," I said.

"How about pink?" Mark asked.

"What does his hair look like?" I asked, and Mark answered, "It's kinda curly. It's actually really curly, and then it -- "

"One word answers!" I yelped. I was searching for a hair color or length, but I got a shrug instead.

And so Josh's adjective became "curly." I guess that's not an actual descriptive word for Josh, but at this point I didn't care.

By the time I finished the next two questions, Mark had figured out what adjectives were, and had used the same five for the rest of the answers. They were:
  • Cool
  • Funny
  • Awesome
  • Peach
  • Pink
"You've used all those already," I told him. "You can't use them again. Keep thinking."

At this point, my voice was rising and my patience had worn thin. My parents were staying with us, and my mom came over to relieve me. "Let me try," she said.

She rocked! She did much better than I did, by giving Mark descriptions, and having him say the opposite. It worked really well.

"My teacher is mean," she said. "Your teacher is..."

"Nice!" he answered.

"My teacher is dumb," she said. "Your teacher is..."

"Smart!" He was getting it now.

But he still couldn't quite pare them down to one word answers yet.

"My teacher is short," she said. "Your teacher is..."

"Tall!" Mark answered. "Well, kinda medium-ish, actually. He's not really all that tall -- "

My mom snapped him back before he could keep rambling. "He's tall," she said definitively, so Mark just nodded.

And so he finally completed his homework with my mom's help, not mine. I tried, I really did, but there's a reason I'm a writer and not an educator, like my parents were. I may not be able to help Mark with his homework, but I could help him write a novel. Even if he won't be able to describe it when it's done.

I can just hear it now. "My novel is...peach."

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