And as Mark gets older, he's become more responsible. He checks his blood sugar, counts carbs, boluses, and corrects lows or highs by himself. (Pretty amazing feats for an 8-year-old!) Because of that, I worry a lot less when I'm away (after school, with babysitters, etc.).
But it is still nerve-wracking to leave him in someone else's hands. There's the whole notion that no one takes care of him as well as I can (not true!) vs. the idea that time away gives Mark (and his caretakers) more opportunities to succeed and thus, more confidence.
Yesterday was a definite confidence builder. My brother Scott invited us to Disneyland, with our brother Brad, his wife, and all the kids.
"I can't," I told him. "I'm going to a baby shower."
"What's Mark gonna do?" Scott asked, and I said stay with a babysitter.
"He'd rather go to Disneyland!" Scott said. "Send him with Brad and Brandy."
He was right -- Mark would rather go to Disneyland with his cousins, aunt and uncles. But my brothers haven't watched Mark on their own before. (Scott's wife Mary usually manages Mark's diabetes when they babysit, but she was working.)
"Really?" I asked. "You'll test him before lunch and count his carbs?"
"Yeah!" Scott said enthusiastically. "He'll be fine!"
Wow, that was huge. Taking four kids, a toddler, AND diabetes to Disneyland -- now that's a commitment!
So I checked with Brad, who said no problem, they'd drive Mark. Then I told Mark, who was thrilled. I was pretty thrilled, myself -- not only were my brothers watching Mark, they were giving me a whole day to myself!
So Sunday morning, I packed up Mark's meter, some juice boxes, his Disneyland pass, and $20. I reminded him to check his blood sugar before lunch ("I know, Mom!") and to text me his lunch menu so I could count the carbs.
"I want to estimate the carbs myself," he answered, and who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
I told him, "Great! Text me the estimate, so I can help if you need it."
I dropped him off at Brad and Brandy's, and he was so excited, he about pushed me out the door.
"Bye, Mom!" he said, and ran off to play with Johnny.
Then I went off to an early movie with Edra, still dazed and delighted at this sudden good fortune.
I hadn't heard from them when the movie let out at 1, so I called to see what Mark ate for lunch. Nathalie informed me he hadn't eaten yet, and I bit my tongue.
"OK," I said. "Tell your dad it's time for him to eat." Don't panic, I told myself. If Mark was starving, he would've told Scott.
Five minutes later, Brad called, asking how many carbs were in a hot dog and chips. I told him, he said okay, and hung up. I couldn't believe how easy it all was!
I went off to the baby shower, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I got one more call, asking if Mark could have ice cream. "He's looking up the carb count right now," Brandy told me.
"Definitely, he can have it!" I told Brandy.
An hour later, I picked Mark up from Brad and Brandy's. He'd had a great time, and no one seemed traumatized. I couldn't stop beaming.
And so today, I am grateful. Grateful to Scott, who invited Mark along without hesitation. Grateful to Scott, Brad and Brandy for taking such great care of Mark, and giving him something he loves -- a day with the family. And grateful to my whole family for coming along this journey with me, reaching the point where "Mark, my nephew with diabetes" simply becomes "Mark, my nephew."
It sounds like such a small thing, but really, even today, I am overwhelmed by it, and soooo proud of them all! My brothers gave me such a huge gift yesterday, and for that, I will always be grateful. For Mark, it was just another day in the park, but for me, it was the day my brothers rose up, and succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.
And you can't get more confident than that!
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