Dizzy Gillespie has some competition

This year Mark decided to play trumpet at school. My brother Scott used to play trumpet, and I even played it for all of two seconds, until I was kicked out of band for copying the girl next to me.

"They kicked you out?" Mark asked. He was shocked.

"Yup."

"Why were you cheating?"

"I wasn't cheating," I explained. "I just couldn't read music. So I watched to see what she was doing."

Mark kinda snickered at that. He's been reading music for more than two years now; he loves being able to do something I can't.

When I called my mom to see if, by some strange bit of luck, she still had that old trumpet, she immediately answered, "No." But when I mentioned it to Scott, he knew exactly where it was. He brought the case in from the garage and Mark and his cousins all took turns blowing on it until they were lightheaded and red in the face.

It definitely needed some love; it sat hidden in the garage for 35 years. But my friend Liz pointed me toward an instrument repair shop, where a kid shined it up and oiled the valves for $60--much cheaper than a new trumpet!

Mark was thrilled to have his trumpet back in working condition, but was disappointed when I said the guy cleaned all the gunk out of it. When I asked why he was so bummed, Mark confirmed my boys-are-gross theory by saying, "I wanted to see that."

He worked the valves and blew deeply into the horn, which emitted the blare of a dying elephant. He experimented with different sounds, his favorite being the roar of Chewbacca. He played the theme to Jeopardy! then held his trumpet aloft and blew, letting out a mighty FWWWWOOOOOOM! He was a natural.



Or maybe not.



Like any good musician, he thoroughly examined his instrument. He wanted to see if a flashlight would shine through all the curves and out the other end.




He tried playing it without the mouthpiece, to see if the sound was different.



He tried playing it by completely covering the mouthpiece, and ended up gagging and complaining of the metal taste. I could've told him it would taste disgusting, but it was more entertaining to watch him try.

In the end, he didn't play any recognizable songs. Mark being Mark, he created a new fancy, one-handed move, complete with crazy eyes.




It was hilarious until he fell over. Then it was even more hilarious.



He hasn't even had one lesson yet, but after watching him this afternoon, I feel like I already got my money's worth.