Next up: Stealing candy from babies

My mom's friends is battling cancer, and yesterday was her chemo day. Since she's only an hour away, my mom packed up Mark and drove out to keep her friend company.

When they arrived at the oncology center, they found a veritable junk food feast. There were cupcakes, cookies, sugary popcorn, and bowls of candy everywhere, presumably to encourage patients to eat. But it wasn't the patients my mom worried about -- she was more concerned with Mark.

Saying Mark has a sweet tooth is like saying lions are carnivores. It's not whether or not they like meat, it's about how much meat they can consume in the shortest time possible. Mark's the same when it comes to anything sugary.

My mom said Mark's blood sugar was super high at lunch (425 -- it should be between 70-150). I wasn't surprised; driving and sitting still all day makes Mark high, especially since he's usually so active.

"It wasn't that," she said. "We just undercounted the carbs on the kettle corn."

Then she said, "I have to tell you a really funny story..."

Apparently, my mom opened her lunch cooler. She put something inside so that it wouldn't melt, and Mark said, "Oh, I don't want this to melt, either." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a huge handful of candy bars!

Before she could ask where he got them, he said, "Wait, I'm not finished yet," and pulled a handful out of his other pocket!

"Where'd you get all that candy?" she asked.

"From the bowls," he answered.

She looked at all the candy he took, and said, "You took candy away from cancer patients?" she asked.

Mark shrugged and said, "Yeah, so?" He didn't see what the big deal was.

I'm telling you, that kid has no shame! Mark would steal candy from a baby or a little old person if it meant he got chocolate; he had no remorse taking it away from cancer patients. (He's not alone; my chocolate-loving dad would help him.)

Mark heard me laughing, and came into the kitchen. He smiled brightly, and reached for a pack of M&Ms until I stopped him.

"Seriously?" I asked him. "You took those from cancer patients?"

He shrugged again. Then his smile suddenly disappeared, and he said accusingly, "Hey, Grandma, you forgot to give me my cookies at lunch time!"

I kicked him out of the kitchen. "You had kettle corn and candy bars," I said. "Trust me, you got more than enough treats!"

Man, sometimes I can't believe that kid! :-)