I don’t know why he arbitrarily picked this number; I’m not sure why he didn’t shoot higher (say, a million bucks) or more realistic (say, a dollar). But it’s his firm answer and it’s driving me crazy.
It’s even made its way into conversations that have nothing to do with money. When we recently started our garden, I asked him what kind of plants we should buy.
“A money tree!” he shouted, and I laughed out loud.
“Trust me,” I told him. “If I could, I would.”
But it got me to thinking, and that usually turns to practical jokes. I decided to have a little fun with him and his money-obsession.
While driving home, I admitted to Mark that I’d experimented with the garden.
“Remember you wanted a money tree?” I asked. “Well, it got me to thinking, I wonder what would happen if we did plant some money. So I planted a penny and a dime, just to see what would happen.”
“You did?” he said. “I don’t think they’ll grow.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“They’re not seeds!” he yelled.
“Fair enough,” I answered.
When we got home, I asked him to check on the garden, to see if it needed water. What he didn’t know was that I’d set him up -- I planted a little something in the soil:
As soon as he wandered out back, I followed quickly. I didn’t want to miss the look on his face when he saw the bills.
“Oh my gosh!” he screamed, and I hurried over. He was pointing at the bills. His eyes were huge and his mouth was wide open. “Are you serious? Is that real?”
“Hey!" I shouted. "My penny and my dime grew! And they grew into bills!”
Mark jumped around excitedly a couple minutes, then stopped short. “Did you do that?” he asked, and I feigned surprise.
“Do what?” I asked. “Why do you think I did that?”
“Because I know you!” he said. I answered I had nothing to do with it -- my planted coins had simply grown into dollar bills, thanks to sun and water.
That was a good enough answer for him. “I’m gonna plant a quarter!” he yelled, running into the house. I panicked a little at that, and explained it wouldn’t grow, because there’s no $250 bill.
“Start smaller, with a penny or a nickel,” I told him.
“Is there a 100-penny coin?” he asked.
I shook my head, but then he answered his own question. “Ooh, there is a one-dollar coin!” I could see him imagining a crisp new $100 bill pushing through the dirt. So I finally nipped it in the bud.
“I don’t think it will work,” I started, and he caught my drift.
“It was you!” he yelled. “I knew it!”
And I was glad that I finally owned up, because later, while we were laughing about it, Mark told me he was so excited, he was going to plant my debit card. (I give him credit for always thinking big!)
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