Six years ago, while walking little kindergartner Mark to school, we passed a car adorned with blue stickers. "My child was student of the month" read one; "My child made the honor roll" read another. I pointed at the stickers and told Mark, "I want those."
At the time, he smiled and nodded, eager to please, but unaware of what those stickers meant. He promptly ran off to cause mayhem, apparently, because I never did get either sticker. (To be fair, I realize now I set Mark up to fail with the student of the month sticker; he's a great kid. He's also a class clown, and I've found from experience that's not who the teachers ever choose.)
I eventually gave up hope on the honor roll sticker, too, and instead focused my energy on nagging Mark into the best grades he could get. This year, Mark buckled down, and did his part. And so, last week, when I opened his report card, I almost fainted. He got four As, two Bs, and a C. It was his best report card EVER!
I did the happy dance right then and there, and repeated it when Mark came home. I kissed him a million times and told him how proud I was. I'm pretty sure he was going to say "Thanks, Mom, I owe it all to you," (just kidding) but he got distracted and instead added up how much money I owe him instead. (Yes, I bribed him with cold, hard cash. Yes, it's wrong. Kinda. No, wait, it's completely not wrong, because it totally worked. So to all you naysayers and parenting experts, I will quote Mark, and tell you, "IN YOUR FACE!" OK, wait, no, that's immature. I take it back. Sorry.)
I didn't think I could be any happier with Mr. Mark, until we were driving in the car this weekend.
"Oh yeah," Mark said out of nowhere. "I made the honor roll."
I almost crashed the car. "You WHAT???" I screamed. "And you're just now telling me?"
He pointed to the car in front of us, bearing one of the famous stickers. "That car just reminded me of it," he said.
And so, the happy dance went in to overdrive. Mark, an HONOR STUDENT! Me, mother of an honor student. Unbelievable!
Mark also received an invitation to a luncheon. I glanced at it, then asked why the school was having a rock n roll lunch.
"No, it's for HONOR roll," Mark corrected. "Not rock n roll!"
To be honest, I find it more believable he'd be invited to a rock n roll lunch. But hey, honor roll's pretty spiffy, too.
The only downside is that I realized I'm not putting nearly enough money into Mark's college fund. I've always insisted he's going to college, and that it's a non-negotiable. But today, with all this honor roll business, it looks like it really might happen. And I'm gonna have to pay for it!
But I don't mind, it'll be the best money I ever spent. And heck, now that he really is going to college, I have a new goal for Mark--hello, scholarship!
At the time, he smiled and nodded, eager to please, but unaware of what those stickers meant. He promptly ran off to cause mayhem, apparently, because I never did get either sticker. (To be fair, I realize now I set Mark up to fail with the student of the month sticker; he's a great kid. He's also a class clown, and I've found from experience that's not who the teachers ever choose.)
I eventually gave up hope on the honor roll sticker, too, and instead focused my energy on nagging Mark into the best grades he could get. This year, Mark buckled down, and did his part. And so, last week, when I opened his report card, I almost fainted. He got four As, two Bs, and a C. It was his best report card EVER!
I did the happy dance right then and there, and repeated it when Mark came home. I kissed him a million times and told him how proud I was. I'm pretty sure he was going to say "Thanks, Mom, I owe it all to you," (just kidding) but he got distracted and instead added up how much money I owe him instead. (Yes, I bribed him with cold, hard cash. Yes, it's wrong. Kinda. No, wait, it's completely not wrong, because it totally worked. So to all you naysayers and parenting experts, I will quote Mark, and tell you, "IN YOUR FACE!" OK, wait, no, that's immature. I take it back. Sorry.)
I didn't think I could be any happier with Mr. Mark, until we were driving in the car this weekend.
"Oh yeah," Mark said out of nowhere. "I made the honor roll."
I almost crashed the car. "You WHAT???" I screamed. "And you're just now telling me?"
He pointed to the car in front of us, bearing one of the famous stickers. "That car just reminded me of it," he said.
And so, the happy dance went in to overdrive. Mark, an HONOR STUDENT! Me, mother of an honor student. Unbelievable!
Mark also received an invitation to a luncheon. I glanced at it, then asked why the school was having a rock n roll lunch.
"No, it's for HONOR roll," Mark corrected. "Not rock n roll!"
To be honest, I find it more believable he'd be invited to a rock n roll lunch. But hey, honor roll's pretty spiffy, too.
The only downside is that I realized I'm not putting nearly enough money into Mark's college fund. I've always insisted he's going to college, and that it's a non-negotiable. But today, with all this honor roll business, it looks like it really might happen. And I'm gonna have to pay for it!
But I don't mind, it'll be the best money I ever spent. And heck, now that he really is going to college, I have a new goal for Mark--hello, scholarship!
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