Mark and his friends have a new game they're obsessed with. It's called Quest, and it's a game about life. The object is to roll a pair of dice, and keep moving up in the world, keep bettering your station. Everybody starts out at the same level, as a hobo with $5 and a twig, and hopefully rolls their way up to multi-bazillionaire. But the game isn't just about money, it's ultimately about power--and that power usually results in destroying the entire world.
After a quick argument about which college degree was higher (associate vs. bachelor's), the boys jumped into a lightning-speed round. They rolled the dice, quickly progressing through high school and on to college. Mark kept rolling low numbers, and the others yelled out sympathetically with him.
"Ooooh!" Josh said. "Well, you're going to college, but you don't get a scholarship."
"Dang it!" Mark said.
Dan rolled next, and also got a low number.
"You get a job at McDonald's," Josh declared, bumming Dan out.
"I want a better job!" Dan exclaimed. "I want a better salary!"
"You can't," Sean told him. "This economy sucks. Nobody gets a raise."
Then Sean rolled, and his number gave him medical issues.
"You have high cholesterol!" Mark yelled, a bit too gleefully. "SUPER high cholesterol! You're gonna stroke out!"
This was beginning to sound more like real-life than an imaginary game...it was starting to bum me out.
Josh was up next, and he rolled a high number. He cheered loudly, while everyone else groaned. "Yeah!" Josh yelled. "I work in technology--I'm gonna be RICH!"
He laughed at the other boys, who punched him and reminded him that technology actually has a lot of layoffs.
"No way," Josh told them. "I work at a good company. Technology is cool--I'm gonna use it to make your heart explode!" (An empty threat, I realized, since Mark's high cholesterol would probably do the same thing much faster and cheaper than Josh's high-falutin technology.)
I wanted to laugh, but it was seriously the saddest, most depressing game ever. It didn't even sound like a game, it just sounded like real life.
But thankfully, before it all got too depressing, the boys switched it up a bit. They started hooting and goading each other. With his next roll, Sean took first place. He clearly had no use for a bad economy or high cholesterol--he was thinking much bigger.
"I'm on Mars," he proclaimed. "I'm sending the moon crashing into Earth to kill you all."
After a quick argument about which college degree was higher (associate vs. bachelor's), the boys jumped into a lightning-speed round. They rolled the dice, quickly progressing through high school and on to college. Mark kept rolling low numbers, and the others yelled out sympathetically with him.
"Ooooh!" Josh said. "Well, you're going to college, but you don't get a scholarship."
"Dang it!" Mark said.
Dan rolled next, and also got a low number.
"You get a job at McDonald's," Josh declared, bumming Dan out.
"I want a better job!" Dan exclaimed. "I want a better salary!"
"You can't," Sean told him. "This economy sucks. Nobody gets a raise."
Then Sean rolled, and his number gave him medical issues.
"You have high cholesterol!" Mark yelled, a bit too gleefully. "SUPER high cholesterol! You're gonna stroke out!"
This was beginning to sound more like real-life than an imaginary game...it was starting to bum me out.
Josh was up next, and he rolled a high number. He cheered loudly, while everyone else groaned. "Yeah!" Josh yelled. "I work in technology--I'm gonna be RICH!"
He laughed at the other boys, who punched him and reminded him that technology actually has a lot of layoffs.
"No way," Josh told them. "I work at a good company. Technology is cool--I'm gonna use it to make your heart explode!" (An empty threat, I realized, since Mark's high cholesterol would probably do the same thing much faster and cheaper than Josh's high-falutin technology.)
I wanted to laugh, but it was seriously the saddest, most depressing game ever. It didn't even sound like a game, it just sounded like real life.
But thankfully, before it all got too depressing, the boys switched it up a bit. They started hooting and goading each other. With his next roll, Sean took first place. He clearly had no use for a bad economy or high cholesterol--he was thinking much bigger.
"I'm on Mars," he proclaimed. "I'm sending the moon crashing into Earth to kill you all."
The other boys protested.
"But you'll die then, too," Dan reasoned.
"No I won't, because I'm on Mars," Sean reminded him. "But you're all dead! I win! YEAH!!" He jumped up, cheering victoriously.
And as crazy as that was, I cheered, too. Because really, who wants to die from something as mundane as a stroke, when you can go out in a blaze of colliding planets and moons? It may be far-fetched, but the real-life scenarios were so real, it was depressing. Like the boys, I preferred the quick (if violent) collision instead of my heart just exploding from high cholesterol or technology.
Because they have the right idea...why simply stroke out, if you can go big, and take the whole universe with you?
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