Somebody call Rosemary, I have her baby

Sometime during the past week, Mark turned into the devil child.

It's not Mark himself I have a problem with--I love my son, who's usually very cute, sweet and funny. Ordinarily, I wouldn't call him a devil child. But Mark has been making some bad food decisions lately, resulting in really high blood sugars that make him act horrible!

Intellectually, I know it's the high sugars making Mark sass me and talk back with an increasingly snotty voice. I know it's the high blood sugar rolling its eyes at me and answering "Uh huh" in a surly tone when I ask if he made his bed yet. I know it's the high blood sugar that stands before me, arms crossed, with an "I don't care what you're saying" smirk on its face.

Like I said, intellectually, I know all this. And usually, I can reconcile this intellect with my emotions, and just...let it go. Usually, I can ignore the snarkiness, give Mark a shot of insulin, and know that in 15 minutes, he'll be back to his cheery, happy self. But usually only happens when Mark follows the game plan.

But for the past few school days, Mark has not followed the plan. He made up his own game, which includes a complex set of food substitutions and deletions. He bought a ticket on the Blood Sugar Roller Coaster, and rode it hard, climbing high up the peaks, then crashing hard into its low valleys. Moodiness, the monster accompanying the soaring highs and lows, was buckled gleefully into the seat beside him, prodding and poking, further inflaming him.

And so today, I am out of patience. I am out of goodwill and the rational explanations I gave Friday (AND Monday, AND Tuesday) on the dangers of bolusing insulin, then not eating. I am tired of Mark switching out his lunch for snacks, of him eating snacks whenever he feels like it, of him eating but not bolusing for it, or of him skipping food altogether. I'm tired of seeing his glucose meter read 30, or just HI (over 500). And I'm tired of him being grumpy and cranky because he feels like crap (and that it's all self-inflicted).

But mostly, today, I'm just tired of diabetes...