Tales of a one-armed drummer

Walk into my garage on any given day and you'll see an assortment of drum sticks lying on the floor, ready to trip me up.

I've questioned the drummer in residence about this many times, and his answer is always the same: "That's where they go when I drop them."

Which I usually follow up by asking, "Why don't you pick them up?"

"I do," Mark answers. "When I start drumming."

Two drum sticks are usually enough for most drummers. My little drummer boy uses six during his 15 minute daily practice. He sets four of them on the bass drum, secured by the drum hardware. Then he starts practice using the other two.

He usually drops both sticks while practicing, and reaches for the backup sticks on the bass drum. He's gotten pretty good at reaching for a new one seamlessly. I'd be proud except that at the end of practice, he leaves all six on the ground where they fell.

Now picture me carrying full laundry baskets out to the garage and stepping on a rogue drum stick and you'll realize my frustration.

But yesterday Mark hit a new level of laziness. He was playing along to the song "Wait for You" by Elliot Yamin, and he sounded great. I watched him hit the hi-hat and bass drum on the 1 and 3 beats, then hi-hat and snare drum on the 2 and 4 beats.

I went inside for a minute, and suddenly, the beat changed. I couldn't figure out what was different, just that it was. So I poked my head into the garage and there was Mark, playing the snare and hi-hat with just one hand. The other hand was empty.

"Where's your other drum stick?" I asked, and he pointed to the ground. I counted five drum sticks there.

"Pick it up," I told him. "Play it right."

"I'm fine," he said, and kept on playing with one hand. "I don't wanna have to reach aaallllll the way down there to get it." (He was sitting on a drum seat about a foot off the ground.)

I'm sure the one-armed drummer in Def Leppard would cheer him on, but I'm pretty sure Keith Moon and John Bonham are cringing somewhere in the afterlife.