Until very recently, I had cable T.V. I had a trio of services, in fact -- cable T.V., phone and Internet service all rolled into one bundle. But after months of poor phone service and three bad cable boxes, I'm now a former subscriber.
I won't slander the communication company by naming it. Instead, let's just say the name rhymes with...Smarter. As in, "My cable company is not smarter than a fifth grader."
I cancelled my T.V. service after replacing the third box in nine months. Came straight home from the company toting my new box, plugged it in, and saw nothing but snow. So I called the company, and told them to turn it off.
The woman on the phone tried her best to keep me. "Are you sure you don't want to give us another chance?" she asked hopefully.
"I gave you THREE chances!" I told her, and she answered, "Yeah...I don't know what to say to that."
I thought the problem was solved until the phone calls started. A representative called me Tuesday to confirm I'd cancelled the service.
"As of last Saturday," I told him.
He tried to win me back with a discount, and I did my best not to tell him what he could do with the discount. (Mark was standing right there; one look at his little puppy dog face reminded me to be a good example.)
Well, imagine my surprise when I came home Wednesday night and both my phone and Internet service were out. My voicemail worked when I called it on my cell phone, but the landline itself wasn't working.
I immediately called the cable company. I explained that both my router and modem were flashing, and that I had no phone or Internet service as a result.
"OK, we'll fix your modem," the technician told me.
"You should start with the router," I told him. "The modem won't work until the router's working."
He didn't like that at all. "Ma'am, that's a different department. But I can help you with the modem if you'd like."
Well, OK, then. He said he'd give me a minute to unplug the modem, and he could walk me through that if I needed help. (Gee, maybe he could walk me through turning on the overhead lights, too--they're both pretty tough!)
He walked me through steps for ten minutes until I heard him curse quietly over the phone.
"My computer just froze up," he said. "You're going to have to call back."
"You should try rebooting it," I said nicely. "I can walk you through that if you'd like."
He didn't think that was as funny as I did.
I called back, but this time I asked for the phone service department.
This technician was way more helpful. "Looks like you cancelled your phone service," he said. "That's why the router's not working."
"No, I only cancelled the T.V.," I told him.
He said the technicians had been to my house earlier that day and pulled the cables out. Not just the T.V. cables -- the phone and Internet ones as well.
"Maybe your router really is broken," he said. "But it seems like a big coincidence that the technician was there and now nothing's working." I agreed, and thanked him for his honesty.
He scheduled another tech to come out and reconnect the phone and Internet cables. He gave me an appointment time and said I should be there to let them in.
"I have to be home?" I asked.
"Yes, to let them in the backyard," he said.
I reminded him they got in just fine to rip everything out while I wasn't home. He said he'd put a note in the appointment so I wouldn't have to be there after all.
The next day, I checked my voicemail, and damned if they didn't leave me a message about my appointment. They called me on the phone they knew was broken, and left me a voicemail! And threatened to cancel the appointment if I didn't call back to confirm!
I was flabbergasted, but did indeed call to confirm the appointment. They said to be home between 10 and noon. I agreed to do so, then went to work.
My cell phone rang at 2 p.m., two hours after my scheduled appointment. The cable dispatcher told me the tech was on my porch but nobody was home.
"They said I didn't have to be home," I told him. "He can go in my backyard and connect it."
The dispatcher said he'd tell the tech. And when I arrived home that night, everything was back to normal. The router and modem were no longer flashing, the phone was working, my Internet was restored. I sighed deeply with relief, and thanked my stars I wouldn't have to deal with the dumbest cable company in the world ever again.
Until two minutes later, when the phone rang. I answered it, glad that it was working. But my smile faded quickly, when I realized it was the cable company.
They were calling to confirm my appointment for the next day.
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