Smells like teen spirit

Mark smothered himself in lotion after his shower last night.

"Smell my hands!" he said, thrusting them at me. "They smell soooo good!"

They did, indeed. They smelled like at least half my bottle of plumeria lotion.

But the smells didn't stop there. This morning, he watched me spritz myself with perfume and said, "Oooh, can I have some of that?"

"No," I answered. "This is perfume. Boys don't wear perfume, they wear cologne."

"What's cologne?" he asked.

"It's like perfume for guys," I said. "But it doesn't smell all flowery like this."

He was intrigued. "What does it smell like?"

"It smells like a man!" I answered.

He nodded with understanding. "So it smells like sweat?"

That stopped me in my tracks. "No," I said, "not sweat. It smells...masculine. Manly!"

"Ooooh!" he said knowingly. "Gotcha!"

I left him in the bathroom to wash up.

"I'm washing my face with man soap," he called out to me. "Because I want to be all mascular."

"Masculine," I corrected.

"Whatever," he answered. "I just want to smell like a man."

"You do," I assured him, smiling to myself. "Like a very mascular man."