Soap is for sissies

Here's what I've learned about personal hygiene from my son: It's waaaaaay overrated.

I disagree with that philosophy, which makes for interesting discussions around our house. I'm the kind of person who thinks the phrase "Take a shower" implies using all of the following ingredients: water, shampoo, soap. Mark adheres to a different belief, quite popular with the third-grade crowd: that the first ingredient is sufficient (unless of course, I've bought some fancy new Bath & Body Works soap; then, he uses half the bottle).

Case in point: last night's shower. Mark, who is destined to become a successful lawyer, argued that he didn't need a shower, he took one last week. He grumbled and groaned, and finally, grudgingly, got in. Twenty-five minutes later, I told him to get out, and the little lawyer argued that he just got in.

He finally emerged, dripping wet, and smiled. He held a yellow rubber duck up to me. "Look, Mom!" he said. "I washed the duck!"

I smiled back, until I noticed something--the duck was very clean, but Mark's face was as dirty as it was before the shower.

"Let me see your face," I said, and his smile vanished.

"I washed it!" he yelled. He wouldn't let me close enough to look.

But our bathroom is small, and he couldn't escape. I gave him a once-over, realizing he hadn't washed his hair, either. Despite the long shower, he was still the same grubby boy, just a little wetter.

I sighed. We have a water shortage in our county, but I didn't realize we had a soap shortage as well.

"Back in you go," I told him, pointing to the tub. He protested, but finally climbed back in, washed his hair, and emerged, once again, with a dirty face. (What do they say about leading a horse to water??)

I finally gave up. "Brush your teeth," I told him. Then I handed him a wash cloth and watched him scrub his face, while he scowled.

That's my Mark, in a nutshell. He's the kind of kid who must wash his face every night at bedtime, whether he showered or not. He's the kind of kid who spends so much time washing his rubber duck, he forgets to wash himself.

And now, I'm the kind of mom who's very specific; the kind of mom who now says, "Take a shower AND USE THE SOAP!!"